Borgiallo Families: Nicolao and Margarita (Ghiglietti) Trucano, Giuseppe and Caterina (Malano) Trucano, and Martino and Caterina (Reverso) Trucano

I finally made it to the temple this weekend to finish off most of the sealings of the Italian names I have been working on. Unfortunately, AJ didn't come with me because we couldn't find a babysitter. And the night we had planned to go with another couple, something (camping with the scouts in the dead of winter--grr) came up.

There were three main families that I have been working on and I wanted to just jot a note about them to help me remember where they fit in the family tree.

Maria Domenica Giustat (b. 1840) is a direct ancestor. She was born and married in Salto, Italy. Her mother was from Borgiallo, as was her paternal grandmother, so the Borgiallo line splits into two with her. When I first looked at the Borgiallo microfilms back when we still lived in Pittsburgh, I started with her grandmother, Maria Caterina Trucano Giustat (b. 1787) and quickly found the marriage record of her parents. All of Maria Caterina's work had been done because my dad had access to her marriage and death records in Salto, but I was able to find her siblings and parents. There are still two brothers, Giovanni and Giuseppe, that I need to look for.

Maria Caterina's parents are Nicolao Trucano (b. 1754) and Margarita Ghiglietti. I haven't been able to find Margarita--I don't know where she was born and I haven't run into her surname in the records I've been combing through. But, I found the birth record of Nicolao, giving me the names of his parents--Giuseppe Trucano (b. 1728) and Catarina Malano (b. 1730)--and was able to find their marriage record and 5 of his siblings. My sister A and her husband were able to do some of the work for these sibs.

Back to Maria Domenica (b. 1840): Maria Domenica Giustat's mother Anna Maria Trucano (b. 1821) was born in Borgiallo, but married and died in Salto. Her parents--Martino Trucano (b. 1776) and Caterina Reverso (b. 1784)--were both from Borgiallo, and most of the family's work had been done because they all migrated to Salto. Although the birth dates were not known, there was enough information to estimate birth dates and to submit their names to the temple. I went through all of the birth records in Borgiallo during this time period to fill in the actual birth dates. Most satisfying was find three children who we didn't know about. Two died as infants and the other one either died young or didn't move to Salto.

To connect Maria Domenica Giustat back to me: she is the grandmother of Mable Viano, my grandfather's mother.

I have been trying to figure out a research method that works for me in combing through the microfilms. When I started, I tried to gather a lot of information quickly. Thus, I would look for births for several families in the same time period. And I also started to do a generalized extraction of all Trucano names thinking that I could put the pieces together later. These methods are both workable, but I have decided that for me, it's better to focus on one family and try to put as many pieces together as I can for them, being as through as possible. When I have all of the direct ancestors that I can find, I will start to go back and fill in the other pieces.

I am really grateful to have these microfilms. It's amazing that I can look at the records that were written by priests in the 1700's who had personal contact with my ancestors. It will be even more amazing when I am able to do the research online after the church has completed its massive microfilm scanning project.

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Three Days, Three Movies

After going to see such a disappointing Golden Compass last week, AJ and I have spent the last three nights watching three great, but very different movies.

Thursday we rented Bourne Ultimatum. AJ really wanted to see it when it was in the theaters this summer, but we never quite made it. It is all action, very fast paced (a little too much for me). Matt Damon looks like a bullet with dark circles under his eyes throughout the movie. There were some pretty cool parts. I like the con-artist, scamming aspects better than the chase scenes.

Friday we watched Amazing Grace about the outlawing of slavery and the slave trade in Britain and her colonies. The starring historical figure is William Wilberforce. I wondered how closely the writers stuck to history, but it was a great story and I thought the movie was well done too. I wondered if the woman who became his wife was as interested in his political causes as he was and if she was truly the intellectual equal as portrayed. However, this is what it says in Wilberforce's entry on Wikipedia: "The couple were devoted to each other, and though Barbara showed little interest in Wilberforce's political activities and tended to narrow-minded possessiveness, she was very attentive and supportive in his increasing ill-health." Interesting. I'd like to do some more reading about him. And William Pitt was only 24 when he was elected prime minister. I liked that actor and character.

And last night, we watched Stardust, a whimsical fantasy as AJ described it. It reminded both of us of The Princess Bride, combining drama and humor. It was fun to watch.

We haven't watched movies like this in a long long time. It was Christmas vacation week. Our choices were very much shaped by new releases that were available at Redbox. But, we've been staying up too late and I am feeling it today. Next up will be A Mutual Friend, recommended by my mom--an adaptation of a Dickens book-- and Wit starring Emma Thompson. I need to watch that before book group next week.

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Failing America's Faithful: How Today's Churches Are Mixing God with Politics and Losing Their Way

I have such high hopes for this book. I heard Kathleen Kennedy Townsend on NPR discussing the ideas behind this book with a panel and it sounded so interesting. I took her comments to mean that the book was about the Democratic party's ceding of religion to the right and the need for the left to reclaim religion. It was somewhat about that. But, it was as much a memoir of her Catholic faith and her vision of the application of Catholicism and Christianity in general to policy decisions. The historical perspective and political analysis was shallow, I thought, and I did some scanning. She had some interesting tidbits about women's status in the Catholic church and the rise of personal morality evangelicals.
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The Ghost Map

I read The Ghost Map: The Story of London's Most Terrifying Epidemic--and How It Changed Science, Cities, and the Modern World this week. It started out as a gripping recounting of the 1854 outbreak of cholera in London and in its wake, the two men who unraveled the mystery of how cholera spread. Steven Johnson includes fascinating contextual details about the London of the times, including graphic descriptions of the sanitation situation and the early problems of dealing with a large urban center that I had to skip over. YUCK!

I was most intrigued by the story of John Snow, a practicing physician who also pioneered early methods of epidemiology by combining geographical data and the physical spread of cholera compared to the location of water sources----the precursor to our modern day GIS. His battle against the proponents of cholera spread by miasma--the airbourne spread, mostly indicated by foul smelling air--was based in the scientific method. Prior to the 1854 outbreak, he systematically attempted to show how the water supply was responsible by conducting an experiment. He was able to find several individual neighborhoods--thus controlling for poverty, foul smells, and other supposed causes--that had two different suppliers of water. Because residents had no clear idea who provided their water, Snow went door to door collecting samples of water since one company's water had four times the salinity of its competitor. Johnson characterizes him as utilizing skills not as a physician, but as a sociologist and demographer. The logic of his approach to the problem of cholera spread was so clear and perfect. I loved it. To design a study like that!

During the outbreak, he collected data on the deaths, location, and their proximity to the Broad Street pump, the source of the cholera bacteria. He persuaded the local council to remove the handle to the Broad Street pump to prevent the spread of cholera, and then spent time after the outbreak documenting all his analysis.

This map is the lynchpin of Snow's analysis which shows the proximity of the outbreak deaths to the Broad Street pump. Later, he expanded his map to show distances not just as the crow files, but the walking distances to water.

Where the book becomes disappointing is when Johnson deviates from the historical story of the outbreak and starts to draw too many, too far- reaching applications to the modern day. I thought the application to contemporary water problems was fine--cholera has not been eradicated in the world at large and urban centers in developing nations face the same problems that London did in the mid-1800's. But, he went too far. Talk about whether or not the world would turn into a city-planet--what scenarios would cause people to migrate to either the cities or rural areas. I lost interest at the end.

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Other Christmas Stuff

We have had a lot of snow this season. There have been at least 4 good snow drops so far and there is probably about a foot of ground outside. We had a big storm on the 23rd and shovelled out on Christmas Eve. Then, on Christmas day we had more snow. It was lightly snowing for most of the afternoon and was beautiful. I didn't make it outside to take photos, but here is one from our front window. Unfortunately, it is hard to see the falling snow unless you zoom in.

We also had a great time with D and M. They came over in the afternoon bearing dinner deliciousness--funeral potatoes and strawberry dee-light--and we had a great meal. Ham and potatoes, strawberry dessert, I mean salad, (pretzal crust, cream cheese middle, strawberry jello top), rolls, salad, and cranberries. Yum. T insisted on sitting mere millimeters away from D, and he was a good sport about it. We were all lethargic after dinner, but D and M rallied and played some games with the kids. After a sufficient rest, we had derby pie for dessert. And we have been enjoying the leftovers since Tuesday. The kids really grasped onto M's "hamwiches", which are ham and funeral potatoes on a roll. Unfortunately, the potatoes are now gone.

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Christmas 2007

Ahh--I am currently enjoying one of my Christmas presents from this year. AJ's sister E gave me a set of 800 thread count sheets. I am sitting in my bed, in the lap of luxury. I definitely don't want the kids to touch them with their grubby hands, and even felt a little twinge of initial reluctance to let AJ share them.

Christmas was great this year. T didn't wake up until 7:45 and MJ around 8, so it wasn't too early. The kids were so excited and fun, but they really didn't go crazy with presents. We enjoyed a relatively calm morning being together, eating breakfast, and spreading out the presents over the morning.

Fun things from Christmas:

MJ was so concerned about how her good behavior weighed against her bad behavior for the year. "Santa thinks we were really good this year. We must have been really good this year." She seemed to think that they didn't deserve the presents they had gotten. Later she said, "I just keep thinking about all the bad things I did this year." And the next day she talked to me about it again--"why did Santa bring me all those presents when I was bad?" I felt a little bad myself that she was feeling so much guilt. I tried to talk to her about how we all do things that aren't right and then we try to do better. I think that a lie she told a lunch room aide "I am allergic to peanuts" was weighing especially heavy on her mind. It happened recently and kind of ballooned for her as we tried to figure out what actual events transpired and what the cause of the lie was.

Another thing she said. "I didn't even send my note. Santa always picks out just the perfect presents. He knows just the things that we like to do!"

T is really into singing Rudolph this season. My favorite part of his song is "Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say (Yo ho ho),..." A kind of quasi-pirate Santa. Last year, he would gruffly say, "Yo, ho ho! What do you want for Christmas?" And if we didn't answer, he would say, "I SAID, YO HO HO! What do you want for Christmas??" I'm glad that the Yo ho ho carried over to this year.

Both MJ and T got scooters and helmets for Christmas. MJ's is going to take her some time to learn to ride it since it has just two wheels. But, T's has two back wheels and he has been riding it around the house non-stop. Towards the middle of Christmas day, he started taking his scooter everywhere--downstairs to watch a movie and then later, up to his room when he went to bed. He parked it in the doorway of his bedroom when he got into bed, with his helmet hanging off the handlebars. A little bit later, he told AJ that he needed to go the bathroom, and AJ said ok. So, he jumped out of bed, ran over to his scooter, grabbed his helmet to put it on, fumbling with the chin strap, and then scooted over to the bathroom (5 feet from his doorway). Then he parked his scooter in the bathroom doorway and took off his helmet, carefully hanging it on the handlebars. When he was done in the bathroom, he ran back over to the scooter and began to repeat the whole process until AJ told him to get into bed.

He also had a great time dressing up and playing with the awesome cape that Grandma made. It's two sided-one side red and one black so that he can alternate between good and bad roles. When he has the black side out (almost always), it has the look of a magician or a vampire. When he opened it, he swished the new cape from Grandma on and off his shoulders saying "I can fly with this outside in the wind". He got some other dress up accessories. His favorite outfit was to put the neo-prene Batman mask and black cape on, and then use the new foam sword and shield set he got. He has found us a lot more willing to play fight now that he is using foam sword and shield rather than his wood one and now that we have a means of defense: happily, the set came with two swords and two shields so that he can play with another person.

And a blast from the past: when T opened his fleece blanket from Aunt E with his name on it, he said, "I can't bee-lieve it!" This is exactly what MJ said when she opened a princess quilt for her third birthday.
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Advanced Maternal Age All the Way!

When I talked to my dad on my birthday on Sunday, he said that 36 is a great age. Old enough, but young enough. I'm not sure I agree with him. Personally, I think I will come into my own a bit more in my 40's when my kids are older.

Sunday was a great day though. If we had to have church all year at 1 pm, at least it was a year when my birthday fell on a Sunday. I lounged about in bed reading until my family brought me breakfast on one of our Target cafeteria trays--no flower in a vase, but yummy eggs, fruit, and hot chocolate. Then I enjoyed my breakfast in quiet while they went and wrapped presents. They all came back and we opened presents. This year was the best book haul I have had in a very long time. My mom picked out 3 books off my Amazon wish list, including a book to fuel my Lost obsession (season 4 premiers on Jan 31st!) and two books for my book group this year. AJ got my a bio of Virginia Woolf and one of my sisters got me a book edited by Ira Glass (I love This American Life) called The New Kings of Non-Fiction that she read and really liked. Getting books made me so happy. I love new books!

MJ and T each picked me out some jewelry, and although I don't often wear jewelry, I was pretty excited about their presents. I wore some thin silver bangles (I had a set almost identical to them in the 80's) and a black shiny necklace to church on Sunday. MJ picked me out a silver chain with a cubic zirconium pendant that I wore yesterday, but best of all is the big chunky bracelet with big plastic yellow rectangles. AJ said that both of them were going back and forth about what to get me, switching one item for another. But, this item was always T's top choice, and no matter what AJ said, T needed to get that for mommy. I love it. I had it on yesterday with a black top--it looked like I was rooting for the Steelers.

AJ also picked me out some new pj's. I guess my beloved Old Navy pajama pants are headed for the dust bin--I've had them for probably 7 years and I love them. They are so comfy and perfect, but they are starting to fall apart.

My sister with the curliest hair also framed a quote for me: "Life is curly. Don't even try to straighten it out." I agree! For the most part, I've always thought that I've been given curly hair, it's not really made to go straight, and I should take what I have and make the best of it. Three of my sisters that also have curly hair have betrayed their roots by straightening. I refuse to do it. Even in the late 90's when NO ONE was wearing their hair curly, I refused to straighten. And I like the generalization to life too.

AJ was excited that his mom got me a book light--I often lay in bed reading after he's going to sleep, justifying it by saying that it doesn't bother him. But, I'm sure it's not the same as going to sleep with it completely black.

I had to leave for church a little early since I was playing the organ. I was happy that the music chair let me talk her into replacing I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day with Hark the Herald Angels Sing. It's not that I dislike the first (which I somewhat do), but it's that she has a preference for the peaceful, solemn Christmas hymns over the exhuberant, joyous ones (that need a trumpet stop). We didn't sing Hark last year, and she didn't put Far Far Away on the docket this year (she said it's too hard for the congregation to sing). Anyway, at least we got to pair Silent Night with a more upbeat, vigorous song.

I actually liked Gospel Doctrine on Sunday. That was a plus.

And then, despite a lot of snow falling and wind blowing, we made it up to Maple Grove to eat dinner with K and D and family. We had a great time as usual and super good food.

By the time we got home, the kids were really tired out and went straight to sleep.

A good day. Good family time, fun presents, tasty food, and time with good friends.

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Gendered Division of Labor and the Specialization of Roles

Since I am currently not working outside of our home, I have the lion's share of responsibility for all things domestic. I take charge of meals: meal planning, grocery shopping, and making dinner. I do all the laundry, save for folding socks, hanging up shirts, and putting clothes away. I am primarily in charge of tidying up the house and doing the heavier cleaning: vacuuming, bathrooms, etc. I do the day to day maintenance.

During the Christmas season, I have taken on most of the Christmas tasks: I have thought through all the kids' presents and done the research to find them, and after getting a "that sounds good" from AJ, ordered them online or purchased them. I have planned the Christmas meal and Christmas week meals and done all the grocery shopping. I got the family photo into a card and ordered it and picked it up. We did collaborate on the writing of the Christmas letter, but I bought a new printer cartridge and printed all the letters and address labels. I personalized the majority of the Christmas cards. AJ set up the tree with the kids and put the lights on the tree. He did most of the tree with them at the beginning of the month. I took take of almost all of the extended family gifts that we gave this year, with the exception of AJ's brother, whose present he ordered and had shipped to his house. I made 5 batches of cranberry salsa to give to all the neighbors and our visiting/home teaching families. AJ has started to deliver them.

And then, in addition to all this, I was in charge of our RS enrichment dinner and program.

I don't think of myself as particularly good at any of these tasks. Although for the most part, I don't mind doing them, but I don't particularly love doing them either. I have done them because they need to be done. When I don't take charge, things slide. We have scrambled eggs for dinner. The house is a mess. This has happened in the past. And this year, we would not have done the same things for Christmas if I didn't do them. And, this is understandable. I stay home. I have all this flexible time that AJ does not. He is working full time.

And the fact is, AJ does do a lot at home, especially with the kids. Every day, I am grateful that he can help get MJ ready for school and onto the bus before he leaves for work. His hours are reasonable--he is almost always home for dinner by 5:30, and he doesn't have to travel a lot. He often puts the kids to bed. MJ and T absolutely love being around their dad and spending time with him.

My problem is not so much what AJ and I do at home . What I have been thinking about lately is how a lot of what I do could fairly easily be done by just about anyone. I could hire someone to clean my house. I could have my groceries delivered. Another person could cook meals for my kids. My domestic skills are, frankly, nothing special. The only thing in the domestic sphere, really, where I feel I could not find a substitute is the things I do with my kids. And that goes for AJ too as a dad. But, I can outsource some of the childcare. It's true. And T has recently started preschool. I can see how things will be quite a bit different when my kids are in school.

At the enrichment dinner last week, we had a conversation at dinner about staying at home as a mother. One person, whose youngest child will be in 1st grade next year, said that she is so tired of people asking her if she will work next year and what she will do with her time. She says that she will do the same thing as she does now. (Obviously, this is not entirely true. Her child will not be there. She will not have to worry at all about what he is doing and taking him with her wherever she goes.) She mentioned going to the grocery store as an example. The shopping will still have to be done. I admit, I often wonder what the days of stay-at-home moms whose kids are all in school look like. I'm sure that good things are done, I just can't really imagine what the rhythms of that life would look like.

The only thing keeping me home right now is my kids--and even then, I daydream about working. I hope to find a part time job with a flexible working arrangement in the near future. I can't imagine choosing to stay home when my kids are in school. I don't really like domestic life. I really don't know what I would do with my time all day. Clean my house? Do my grocery shopping? Add a few volunteer activities? Be the super-involved mom, planning out everything for my kids? I can't think of anything I would like less.

Anyway, back to my problem. My problem is that I don't want to specialize in domestic management. But, it's what I'm doing right now. I resent that the tasks I do on a regular basis--what I am specializing in--could be easily done by many other people. I want to specialize in being the mother of my kids, just as I want the same for AJ as their father. But, I also want to specialize in something else where I can use my human capital built up by many years of education, where I can contribute to my family income. It's what AJ is doing. I see his career stretching out years into the future. The ways that he is learning, the growth and trajectory that he can expect. He is specializing and it is benefitting our family. I am grateful for what he does. I just wish that we could share the domestic and economic spheres more. I don't really want to be in charge of the domestic stuff. I don't really want to be the household manager.

At this point, I am tired of the extended domestic lifting I have been doing. I am tired of doing the dishes and sweeping the floor yet again and doing the Christmas planning. I don't want to bend over to pick up the Uno cards again and all the other stuff on the ground at 30 weeks pregnant. It seems that the things I do at home are seldom recognized, and that within a short time of me doing tasks, the floor is messy again, T has written his name on the wall again, the laundry room floor is messy and dirty. I really dislike that. But, Christmas is around the corner. If the house is messy for Christmas, then I will be cranky. I know that about myself. So I will probably go back to picking up and doing the dishes later tonight. But, I am also going to strategize for how I can find a job. And I am going to finish reviewing that paper for EEPA.

This is all a big jumble. I know that. I just needed to get some thoughts out. I was hoping that it would make me feel better.

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Inkspell

Last week after Enrichment was over, I needed something very easy on the mind to read. I didn't want to read any of the non-fiction that I have on my list right now, just a nice children's/YA fantasy escape kind of book. I picked up Inkspell from the library and then took it with me to Barnes and Noble on the morning after to start reading it while I sipped some hot cocoa. It was the perfect read.

Cornelia Funke is a wonderful writer. She weaves a tale in a beautiful way, developing intriguing characters and scenes, with beautiful words. I don't feel empty after reading her book, as I do with some escape literature. Under each chapter title is a quotation from some other great work of literature, and I loved reading those before starting a chapter. I don't know if she did that in Inkheart as well, since I listened to that one. By the way, as I was reading, I couldn't get Lynn Redgrave's voice out of my head--she was an amazing narrator for Inkheart. I started listening to Inkspell but couldn't get over the jarring new narrator.

Part of the reason why I loved the Inkspell is that it is a book about books. Funke develops the idea--in a fantasy way--of the power of books, of the worlds that books create and take us to, and of the throbbing vitality of words in books. That all resonates with me of course. One of the main characters is a book binder and he and some of the other main characters have a deep reverence and respect for books. There are many great quotations about books--in Inkheart too.

Like, when Meggie was packing for her voyage into Inkworld. "She had thought hard about what book to take. Going without one would have seemed to her like setting off naked." I always think a lot about what kinds of books to take with me when I leave home too. I hate the thought of being somewhere without a book I want to read, and without being able to get my hands on my easily. It bothers me to no end when AJ goes on a business trip, and doesn't take anything to read and then ends up spending $10 on some plot-driven, never-want-to-read-again paperback.

And Mo's description of paper back books. "Books in beach clothes, badly dressed for most occasions, but useful when you're on vacation." I have a great many paper backs on my shelf. Hardbacks: too expensive for me most of the time, but a great sentiment from a bookbinder.

I love the Meggie has a special box for all her favorite books.

But her old friends, the books Meggie had already owned before they had moved in with Elinor, still lived in the box, and when she opened the heavy lid it was almost as if half-forgotten voices met her ears and familiar faces were looking at her. How well worn they all were..."Isn't it odd how much fatter a books gets when you've read it several times?" Mo had said when, on Meggie's last birthday, they were looking at all her dear old books again. "As if something were left between the pages each time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower...both strange and familiar."

I did find the budding romance between Meggie and Farid to be somewhat strange. I couldn't really see their appeal to each other. And I wondered about the Fenoglio-God who is trying to keep Inkworld under control with his writing and words. I have no idea if Funke was making any kind of larger commentary on God and his ability (or not) to control his creations. It was interesting to think about after reading Pullman's Dark Materials.

I also think that playing with death is only bound to get everyone in trouble. Why try to bring Dustfinger back to life? I thought it would have been better to let Farid stay dead. I wonder where she's going with this. I don't know when the third book is supposed to be out, but it's clear this book is a transition with lots of loose ends.
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Christmas Remembered

This is a fun book of Tomie de Paola's personal reminiscences of many Christmases thoughout his life. I heard him interviewed last year on the radio and he was so charming that I decided to read this book. It features of few de Paola-esque drawings to accompany the charming stories. Since I love quite a few of his children's stories, it was fun to read.

He describes a magical Christmas in Santa Fe and attending Las Posadas there. I think it was here that he decided to write a children's book about Las Posadas. Next year, I am going to take MJ and go to a local reenactment.

Compiling a book of family Christmas stories like this would be a neat family project.

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Basilica: The Splendor and the Scandal:Building St Peter's

I saw this book when I was in Italy and decided it was worth a read. Although we didn't make it to Rome this trip, I loved seeing the Vatican Museum and St Peter's when we there before. It was one of my favorite things.

The book. Eh. I learned quite a bit. I didn't realize how long it took to build St Peter's, the number of popes that were involved, and Michelangelo's large role in helping the basilica to progress along. I learned about Bernini. And just about the historical context of the times. I didn't realize that Rome was sacked in 1527. And how the church reacted to the Reformation.

But, I felt like Scotti swerved around a lot. There were too many names, too many snapshots of people that I will quickly forget, too much deviation from the story of St Peter's. And none of the main actors was really made memorable. I also wish that more photos of all the things she discussed were included. I'm glad I didn't buy it while I was there.
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Enrichment Dinner Over!

Last night was the annual Christmas enrichment dinner. Thankfully, it is over. I am relieved. These events are always so stressful for me. I was grateful to have two other women whom I delegated quite a bit, so while I oversaw both the dinner and the decorations, they took care of the details. Unfortunately, one is probably moving and the other will have a new baby (with me days away from my delivery) when the next enrichment is scheduled to happen. We need to figure out a way to handle that.

I ended up making three trifles for dessert and my kitchen was a total disaster when I left. I came home a little after 10 to find AJ mostly through the dishes. What a good man. I didn't take photos of my trifle. I dyed the whipped cream for chocolate one pink and sprinkled crushed peppermints on top and throughout. AJ took care of its aesthetic aspect by decorating the top with mint leaves.

The dinner was delicious and I think people enjoyed it. I was in charge of the program. I think it went pretty well. Next year, if I am in still in charge of enrichment, I will find someone else to accompany the musical numbers. I felt like I was doing everything in the program. I had a major problem finding women to say a few words for this part of it. Lots of people had conflicts so they couldn't attend. I ended up speaking a lot. (It made me want to teach.) I enjoyed doing research into Las Posadas and into the origin of the carol Bring a Torch Jeanette, Isabella. My main thought was about how the Christmas story is not just historical, but the ways that we can be part of the nativity, just like the peregrinos, just like the milkmaids.

But, I'm tired. I had a hard time winding down to sleep last night and then never felt completely settled into slumber all night long. I don't know if it was just the build up, or if it was the chocolate mint trifle I indulged in mere minutes before getting into bed. This morning, I enjoyed some time by myself finishing up Christmas shopping and then sitting at Barnes and Noble sipping Godiva hot chocolate while starting a new book. This afternoon, I tried to work up energy to get my house back together and managed to make some progress.
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The Golden Compass and the Smearing Email Campaign

A few weeks ago, I finished the final volume of Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Although the first book has been made into a movie and is coming out next week, the impetus to read them came when AJ found The Golden Compass and brought it to Italy with him. He was so taken with it that we combed Florence to find the second book, in English of course, and then he tried unsucessfully to find the third when we were in Venice. He wanted me to read them too, so I took a break from other stuff to read The Golden Compass, also while in Italy, and then read on The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass on and off since we got home.


Also interesting is the email that has been forwarded around Mormon circles about the forthcoming movie. After being forwarded ad nauseum, I have no idea who the original author was, but here is the complete text:

A kids movie coming out in December starring Nicole Kidman, called The Golden Compass, is based on a series of children's books about killing God (it is anti-Narnia). The hope is to get a lot of kids to see the movie which won't seem too bad - and then get the parents to buy the books for their kids for Christmas. The quotes from the
author sum up his atheist point of view. I hope the movie totally bombs because we choose to not support it.

I have a few problems with this email (and with emails and arguments like this in general). First though, how can I take this seriously when the author can't even properly use apostrophes? "kids movie" should be "kids' movie." Yes, it's a nit-pick, but it bothers me. Another problem I have with the email is the generalization that the books are about the children killing God. Not really true. (I wonder if the author of the email has read the books. And I doubt that the majority of people who are forwarding the email on to all their friends have actually read the books either.) I am bothered about the conspiracy theory statement made in the email. "They" (who are they? Phillip Pullman? The makers of the film? Hollywood?) are trying to convert all children into atheists by using a seeming innocuous movie as a lure in order to get them to consume the hard-core material. To me, it seems unlikely. Pullman has publically denied this sentiment.

But, in general, what bothers me most is that well meaning individuals take this email at face value and make decisions about the movie, the books, Phillip Pullman's motivations, and the general value of these books and ideas based only on the ideas presented in the email. Somehow, the idea that Pullman is an atheist seems to be dangerous--as if nothing good could come from someone who doesn't believe in God. Part of Pullman's critique of The Magesterium in his books is that this dominating church manipulates people into thinking what it wants them to think and that they lose their ability to question and think critically. And ironically, this is what I think some people are not really digging below the surface of the email, but are just unquestioningly accepting what it says.

There was a discussion on my extended family's web site about The Golden Compass and this email. After three women who didn't have any basis for discussion other than the email and some web references to Pullman's atheism, I decided that I had to comment. I had no idea how my family would react. We mostly chit chat about family happenings, and I honestly don't know most of them well enough to predict how they feel about such things--I have basically painted the majority of them (perhaps unfairly) as a conservative, predictable Mormon family. There were two avid readers who piped up, who agreed with what I said, and that made me feel a bit better and not so much of an outlier.

This is what I said there:

Andy and I both just recently read Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy and really enjoyed them. We will go together to see The Golden Compass and are looking
forward to it.

My kids are not old enough to see the movie or even think about reading the books, but if they were 6-10 years older than they are now, I think my approach would be to preview the movie and then make the decision about whether or not to take them.

I have also gotten the emails that have been passed around Mormon circles and I don't really like them. I think that probably most people who have been forwarding them to their friends haven't read the books and are relying on rumor and propaganda to fuel questions about the movies. I have no idea if the movies will be any good, and don't know if I would take my kids, but as for the books, I think that they would be great for an advanced adolescent to read--say 15 or so. I hope that if my kids ever choose to read these books that we can have conversations about the nature of God and religion.

The God and the church that Pullman portrays, to me, are completely unlike any God or church that I believe in. The church he portrays is truly an evil, deceptive, and power-mongering institution. God is a doddering frail angel without any real power. Setting aside the question of whether Pullman's descriptions of God and religion in his books are what he actually believes about God and religion, to me they represent an alternate universe and fantasy. Even if Pullman actually believes his portrayal (and he is an atheist, so this is assuredly not what he believes), I still think there is a lot of redeeming value in them. I found that a lot of the negative things about his church are things that I also find offensive and disagree with. I found a lot that I agreed with him on, and I don't think that the things that I disagreed with him on are too dangerous or too scary to discuss or let my kids think about and talk to us about. But, again, these are not books that I would want my 10 or 12 year old reading, especially the third book.

I am also very suspicious of any kind of conspiracy theory, just by my nature. I don't like the sentiment that Pullman is trying to turn the world into a bunch of atheists and that this movie will be the bait to lure in innocent children. Perhaps that's true, but I personally am doubtful and won't make decisions based on speculation like this.
One more thing--The whole bit about the kids "killing God" is inaccurate. I had heard this before I finished the third book, and this brought to mind them using their knife, viciously attacking God, knowing who they were killing. Instead, they find an
old, frail, about to die angel stuck in a box, and they let him out to try to help him. It turns out that this person is God. They have no idea what they have done. The God that dies is happy to die, and is nothing like the God I believe in. Again, I think such ideas would make for fruitful conversation.

I want to write some more about the books, but I think I will postpone and put in a separate post.

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Ibsen Plays

I recently read Hedda Gabbler and A Doll's House. They were quick to read. I was investigating whether I wanted to suggest them for book group with the idea that it could be interesting to compare the two female leads--Hedda and Nora.

I started with A Doll's House, and was turned off a little bit by it. Not that it wasn't interesting--it was, and I would like to see a performance. The themes in the play reminded me a lot of Edna in The Awakening. The story, perhaps owning to the fact that it had to be condensed into a 2-hour play, was simplistic and I felt like the characterization of the main characters was too predictable. Or that Ibsen was too heavy handed in his characterizations. Nora's character especially was much more simplistic to me than Edna and her awakening seemed to come too suddenly without much nuance. It didn't resonate with me in the same way that Chopin's work did. I wondered how anyone could get so fired up--especially her husband--about her forging her father's name so that she could help her husband when he got sick. I also thought it curious that she could so easily leave behind her children (as did Edna). I am also a woman of little imagination, and so perhaps the story would really come to life in a play, while the text feels flat.

Hedda Gabbler was a woman of a completely different nature than Nora, almost her complete opposite. I never did quite grasp what Hedda was all about. Manipulative, deceitful, mean, but to what end? Especially given the final suicide scene. Was she just miserably unhappy and wanted everyone else to suffer? I didn't get it. It was certainly interesting as a psychological portrait of a woman, and was probably ground-breaking in drama for this theme. And I just found that Cate Blanchett played Hedda very recently. Again, I would like to see the play performed.

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Pie Addendum

As an update to my Thanksgiving post, I found out that at my grandma's house this year, the grand pie total was 35, with 28 different varieties. Amazing. They also managed to get 42 family members to the temple and completed 418 sealings and baptisms. And to think that AJ has never been to Franklin for Thanksgiving. We've got to make it out there sometime soon.
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Stephenie Meyer, Take Three

I read the third vampire book this week. One thing I was puzzling over were Meyer's titles. To me, they aren't very evocative of the actual content. New Moon, Twilight, and Eclipse? I don't think that I can keep them straight. And the covers of her books are equally indistinguishable to me (but are definitely Bella-Edward branded). Why put a rose on one and a tattered ribbon on another? I'm sure there are good reasons for both the titles and the covers, but I don't know what they are.

Hmm. I liked this book ok. I think it was better than her second, but still doesn't match up to the first. I find Bella to be an annoying mix of "I'm strong and independent" and "Protect me, I'm fragile." I don't really find Edward to be a compelling romantic hero (but I don't see that in Jacob either.) I find her characters to be a little flat. The plot focus on the romantic triangle gets to be a little tiresome, the whole amazingly fast disappearance of the Volturi clan was puzzling, and the whole newborn vampire thread also disappeared amazingly quickly.

I like this review.

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Thanksgiving Pies

I just put the pecan and derby pies in the oven. Last night, I baked an apple pie, and later this morning, I will finish with the pumpkin chiffon and lemon fillings. I have settled on 5 pies for this year, to share in a gathering of 7 adults and 4 children. I don't think that's overdoing it. I think around 1/2 a pie is just about perfect.

In my family, Thanksgiving, as for many families, is full of food traditions. My mother is the oldest child of 11. She grew up on a farm. A major Thanksgiving gathering at her childhood home, with her mother still at the helm , still takes place each year. I would guess that over the years, they have averaged 40-50 people each year, and it's probably gone done a bit since now there aren't quite so many kids.

Thanksgiving at Grandma's house was always entirely predictable. The stuffing recipe never varied, and was never fancy. The mashed potatoes never had garlic or rosemary, just butter and milk. And I always went back for seconds. And the rolls were just plain divine. With enough leftovers so that we could have turkey sandwiches later. That must be something like 150 homemade rolls. Amazing. It's been many years since I've eaten Thanksgiving dinner with the W family, so maybe something like Wild Rice-Walnut-Cranberry stuffing (a dish I'm making this year) is now on the menu. After all, the family has grown up and expanded, and there are several amazing cooks in the family with broad-ranging tastes. But, my guess is that no matter what more exotic dishes are on the table, all our old favorite stand-bys are there as well.

Living far away from the west for many years, we have had many Thanksgivings without family. In some years, members of AJ's family have come to visit. This year, his brother E is here. We've both made our own Thanksgiving dinners many times and shared Thanksgiving with others. Early on, I learned that, with their recipes, we could just about replicate the Thanksgiving dinner of the W's. Since then, although we've never completely abandoned tradition with Mexican food, for example, we've tried all sorts of variations of traditional dishes. AJ is always in charge of the turkey, and last year he went with Caribbean flavors. I think he used 20 lemons. This year, we decided to try brining the turkey. We'll see how it turns out. We like mashing Yukon Gold potatoes with cooked squash--the golden color is so beautiful on the plate.

But, the one Thanksgiving food area where I haven't deviated (not too much, anyway) is pies. Pies were the crown of a glorious meal at Grandma's house in Franklin. And here, the W family swept tradition under the table. Why have baked pumpkin pie when you can have pumpkin chiffon or coconut cream or raspberry silk pie? There were always a couple of baked pumpkin pies at Grandma's, but they were the only ones with a few slivers left by the time Sunday afternoon rolled around and we were getting ready to drive home. With so many people attending, it was easy to justify making 30 pies. The variety was enormous. Only the very most highly desired pies--like banana cream--were repeated.

Making pies was a ritual. I remember watching my grandma and several of her sons and daughters rolling on pie crusts on her kitchen counter. And I can't forget the large container of lard that was used as the fat in the pie crust. Because of these childhood experiences, having some pie variety on Thanksgiving is essential for me.

One of our first Novembers in New Jersey, we ate Thanksgiving dinner with a family from our ward. I volunteered to bring, among other things, some pies. That morning, I got up early and started to make pie crust. I called Franklin to solicit some advice. My mom and my grandma and all her family made it seem so easy. I finally got some crust together, but was left with a mess and lots of stress. And it just didn't taste as good as theirs, of course. The pies were pretty good, but I felt like I was failing my W family, in a sense.

When we got to our dinner locations, I found out that the host had purchased some pies!!! And some of the other pie contributors used Pilsbury pre-made refrigerated pie crusts. And they turned out to be pretty good, unlike frozen crusts that I had tried earlier. I'm sure that the W family and other highly discriminating palates could easily tell the difference, but to me, it was a revelation. My pies didn't have to be just like my family's pies.

At that point, I decided to continue the pie making, but to leave the crust making behind. I still tend to apologize about it when we bring pies somewhere. I guess it's time I stopped. Giving up the homemade crusts felt like a big concession and almost a traitorous act, but in the end, for me, I decided it just wasn't worth it. In a way, it's sad that a domestic art like making pie crust hasn't survived from their generation to me (although lots of my sisters and cousins are experts at pie crust now), but in another way, it feels like just another way that I've blending my family traditions with my own predispositions and talents. I know my pies don't taste as good as those my W family will be sharing today, but for me, they're good enough.
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Scanning the Shelves: Finding Books to Suggest for Book Group

We are getting ready for our session to decide all our reading selections for 2008 book group. I love hearing about books and talking about lots of books and am looking forward to it. (And of course, I want to have a great list of books to read and discuss for next year.)

I've been thinking about what I would suggest for a while and have gone through multiple ideas in my head. Some fiction written in the last 10 years that I really like with interesting things to discuss (The Sparrow, Peace Like a River A Thousand Splendid Suns) and a memoir by Madeleine L'Engle about her marriage (Two Part Invention)--I thought it would be a nice look back at her life given her recent death. Even reading some of her YA fiction would have been fun. I also went through quite a few other titles, trying to read through them a little bit and find something that would be good for book group.

But, I ultimately decided to suggest books in areas where I felt I could make a "me" contribution, that would be a little different than what others might suggest. Two of my choices are in areas where I have done some reading and have a strong interest--Mormon studies and feminism/women's studies. Of course, I won't label them that way when I talk about them since that would almost certainly signal their death knell. I hope that my ideas don't die in flames. We'll see what the group thinks. And then one of my selections is a play. I really don't know anything about drama, but it seemed like a good and different kind of choice.

Here's what I just emailed my group about my choices:

1. Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History: I started thinking about this book as a possibility for our group when Christina mentioned Susan B Anthony. This is a new book by a women named Laurel Thatcher Ulrich who is a historian at Harvard and a member of the church. (This book has really nothing to do with the church, but I find Ulrich's personal story fascinating as a women who married and had children, and then went back to grad school in her 20's and 30's, taking a long time to finish, and then has become a very successful historian.)

The title of her book comes from her first published article when she was a grad student--some obscure journal. The phrase popped into cultural consciousness when some author picked it up for a book epigraph, and now it's found on bumper stickers, t-shirts, etc. Ulrich explores various women throughout history who have broken social conventions and made history in the process. (One of the women she discusses is Elizabeth Cady Stanton, an early suffragist and friend of Susan B. Anthony.)

This isn't an academic book, and I think there would be a lot of great things to talk about.

2. David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism: This is a biography of David O. McKay published in 2005, but it is as much about how the church was transformed from a culturally insular Utah institution, with long white bearded prophets, to the global church that we now know.

The story behind how the book came to be is fascinating, and I will tell you more about that when we meet in December, but suffice it to say, the source material for this book is such that the curtain around the first presidency is pulled back a bit, and we can begin to see a little more the day to day workings of a prophet and the men (yes, mostly men, although there is an amazing woman who deserves her own biography) who work with him.

This book is very readable and is full of stories of the big personalities in the church during Pres McKay's tenure, included Ezra T. Benson, Bruce R. McConkie, and Ernest Wilkinson.

Very interesting, lots to talk about.

3. Wit--this is a short Pulitzer prize play written in the last 10 years by Margaret Edson. It is about a English professor who specializes in the poetry of John Donne who is very sick with ovarian cancer. The majority of the play takes place in her hospital room.

Here's a description from Amazon

Margaret Edson's powerfully imagined Pulitzer Prize–winning play examines what makes life worth living through her exploration of one of existence's unifying experiences—mortality—while she also probes the vital importance of human relationships. What we as her audience take away from this remarkable drama is a keener sense that, while death is real and unavoidable, our lives are ours to cherish or throw away—a lesson that can be both uplifting and redemptive. As the playwright herself puts it, "The play is not about doctors or even about cancer. It's about kindness, but it shows arrogance. It's about compassion, but it shows insensitivity."

In Wit, Edson delves into timeless questions with no final answers: How should we live our lives knowing that we will die? Is the way we live our lives and interact with others more important than what we achieve materially, professionally, or intellectually? How does language figure into our lives? Can science and art help us conquer death, or our fear of it? What will seem most important to each of us about life as that life comes to an end?

Again, lots to talk about. And HBO has made a film of Wit, which retains most of the qualities of a play. Emma Thompson stars. Excellently done.

I have read probably the first 75 pages of Ulrich's book and I love it so far. Really a lot to think about in the intersection of women and history. I was so inspired by Ulrich's preface--which is somewhat of a personal essay--that I ordered her book A Midwife's Tale which won a Pulitzer and several other prestigious history awards. And then after reading her first chapter, I put material by and about Virginia Woolf and Elizabeth Cady Stanton on my Amazon wish list. And I also ordered a copy of this book to have. I'll write more about it when I finish it.

I've been thinking about the David O. McKay book for a long time. In fact, I suggested it for my Pittsburgh group, and then moved before they did it. I think it would be a great choice, and it's not dense. Lots to think and talk about.

I almost suggested Ibsen's A Doll's House and Hedda Gabbler for my third choice. I just read A Doll's House to review it and see what I thought. It was an interesting play, but there were some things I didn't like about it. It had a similar theme to The Awakening which we did this year , but I thought that the story did not develop nearly as well here as Chopin's. The ending was abrupt. I would like to see it performed, because I did like it. But, I just thought maybe something different would be better. So, I went with Wit, another play with interesting ideas.
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Austenland

This was the selection for book group for November. We picked it last December before it had been published so no one had read it. Although some members of the group enjoyed it, it was too frothy for me. Especially for a book group selection. As a book to read on my own? Borderline fluffy, even for that. I didn't love the story, I thought the characters were a little weird, and I thought the whole premise was strange. I'm not an Austen devotee and I haven't watched P&P with Collin Firth innumerable times, so maybe that's why I just couldn't relate.

I much prefer Shannon Hales' YA books. I think I will pick up The Book of a Thousand Days and see how I like that.

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A Thread of Grace

I started reading Mary Doria Russell's latest book in Italy and finished it when I got home. This is a historical fiction book set in northern Italy in the last months of WWII after the Italians surrendered and when Italy was being occupied by Germans. She tells the story of the poor hill people and others in larger cities who help the resistance movement against the Germans and who hide Jews. I started it thinking I might recommend it for book group, but it's a definite no.

This book is complicated: there are a lot of characters and she moves between their stories quickly. It is hard to keep track of them all and I never felt like I really got to know them. It is book full of tragic stories. All of the characters seem to end up getting killed. I kept wondering what the Thread of Grace was. There seemed to be no redemption for Russell's characters. Even Renzio, the man who was tortured by his past involvement in battle and who seemed bent on self destruction, who I thought would ironically be one of the only survivor, was killed after the Germans surrendered.

This is on one of the final pages

There's a saying in Hebrew, he tells her. 'No matter how dark the tapestry God weaves for us, there's always a thread of grace.'

I guess maybe the thread of grace is the sacrifices these people made to help save the Jews. Russell tells the little known story of the many Italians who helped hide the Jews.

I didn't love this book.

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Thoughts from stake conference and 1 Nephi 1

This weekend is stake conference and we attended today and last night. I have a great admiration for our stake president and find his words inspiring and riveting. Today, his talk centered on spiritual safety and how gathering to the stakes of Zion facilitates that.

It was very much a "discipleship" kind of talk. I've been thinking about this a little while. I like general direction on how we can have the Spirit, on becoming followers of Christ. Pres P is putting the onus of most of the specifics on us, it seems. This is very different, to me, than the talks I've heard directed to women, for example, where there are a litany of specific directives without an overriding theme of personal revelation and finding a good fit for our personal circumstances. While I see the need for specific talks about being a member missionary (what our mission president and his wife discussed), I much prefer the idea that when I am living my life in a way that I have the Spirit guiding me, I will be inspired with regards to missionary work (or parenting or whatever happens to be the most important thing for me at the moment). Pres P's counsel seems always applicable, while very specific talks might not be at a given time. And while I need to hear counsel about home storage and financial preparation, I appreciate it so much more when it is contextualized within the larger gospel. There are a lot of things from his talk that I need to process.

One of the specifics things that he talked about was the Book of Mormon and scripture study as a key way to invite the spirit into our lives and prevent ourselves from becoming spiritually complacent and cut off from the presence of the Lord. He asked us to read the Book of Mormon in its entirety before our next stake conference, and while I think that there are better ways of studying the scriptures than chronologically, right now I am hardly getting any scripture study in at all, and in sequence is better than nothing for me right now.

I came home and started with 1 Nephi 1. Just a few thoughts. In some ways, I wish I could read it more naively or unquestioningly, like I used to be able to in the past. I have a lot of questions and sometimes concerns about what I read, and it can sometimes be a distraction.

Today, the first sentence of the introduction to 1 Nephi bothered me: "An account of Lehi and his wife Sariah and his for sons". We know Nephi had sisters. What of their spiritual journey and their attitude to their father's requirement to leave Jerusalem? We know nothing about them. Did they chose to follow Nephi? Or L&L? Or were they more like Sariah lacking some faith, but following along anyway? They are just completely absent from any narrative here and that makes me a little sad.

When the text turns to Lehi's vision, I wondered if women ever get to have visions like this. Even if they do, they aren't recorded, and so it's hard to get our minds around the idea that experiences like this are possible for women. (or is this a special prophetic vision, which would of course be limited to a very narrow category of men?)

The other thought that I had was from v. 3 where Nephi tells us that the words he writes are TRUE. I wonder about truth. Yes, he is recording what he perceives is true. But, 1 Nephi is written at what, a 20 year distance? So, memory might be an issue. And I wondered if Nephi was able to use Lehi written account as a text from which to base his words. His perspective from a 20 year vantage point on L&L might be skewed, because he knows they never repent, so maybe he focuses on the negative in them and the bad choices they make. And then there's the women in his account. While what he writes may be true, he has certainly chosen to exclude certain things.

All that said, I was impressed with the power of the book that the Savior gave Lehi and the impact that it had on him. I read some other verses from the Bible about sacred books and how they are used. I love Jeremiah 15:16:

Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart; for I am called by they name, O Lord God of hosts.

I am going to do better with making scripture study a higher priority and more consistent habit.
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Verona

There is no world without Verona walls,
But purgatory, torture, hell itself.

Hence banished is banish’d from the world,
And world’s exile is death;
--William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act III, Scene III

Verona is probably best known as the setting for Romeo and Juliet's tragic love story as immortalized by Shakespeare. But it is full of many other interesting things. I got to spend a day in Verona all by myself the day before AJ and MJ got in. C and I had planned on taking T and going together on an ITR trip, but he was still sleeping in, and we decided to let him sleep rather than waking him to go.

ITR trips are fascinating to me. ITR stands for Information, Tickets, and Reservation Office and it is a service provided to those affiliated with the military. They set up all sorts of trips, complete with bus transportation, guides, and hotels if needed and all you have to do is sign up, pay your money in dollars, and you're set to go. It is a really easy way to see the sights in a foreign country you have been assigned to live in. I can see the great service that it is, but I personally think it's "cheating." All the research, trying to decide what you want to see and do, all the travel planning are completely out of your hands. I feel a little snobbish towards those who would only choose to use ITR for their travelling.

AJ's parents have gone on a few ITR trips, but they have done A LOT of travelling on their own. On the other hand, the woman I sat next to on the bus almost only travels with ITR. She went to Provence that way. And there were several people on this trip who were planning on going to Rome over Thankgiving. (That's probably an 8-hour bus ride. UGH. Train is much better.) When we were in Italy before, we went on an ITR trip to Florence. It was a bitter cold day and a long bus ride to and from Vicenza, so we didn't get to see Florence like we wanted.

Anyway, Verona is only an hour's drive from Vicenza, so it is much more doable. I think T would have been fine on the bus, but it was sure nice to go on my own. After driving through the city, we went to the Giardino Giusti, a Renaissance era garden of a wealthy Veronese family. It seemed to be dedicated to Bacchus, as there were several statues of him around. At the top of the hill, there was a giant monster like face with its mouth open and they could light a fire inside the mouth. Supposedly, it was a place where philosophers and other thinkers gathered to talk (and party too). There were rows of tall pointed cypress (I never really knew what they looked like before) a lot of shaped hedges, and a small maze.

Then, we walked over the river and went into the main city area. We saw the Gothic tombs of several of the members of an important Veronese family, Della Scala. The three males were nicknames Cangrande, Il Mastino, and Cansignorio--Big Dog, The Mastiff, and Mr Dog. They were memorialized with big statues on pedestals.
And surrounding the area was an iron gate with each little intersection including the Scala family crest, including a symbol of a ladder or scaletta in Italian. You can't see it well in the photo, but here is the crest.
When Dante was in exile from Florence, he stayed for quite a while in Verona with Cangrande hosting him.

And of course, we went past the Romeo and Juliet sites. I saw Juliet's house the last time we were in Verona, which was a good thing because it was completely mobbed this time around. I find the great tourist attraction to this pseudo-historical site to be laughable. There is a home that would have been similar to Juliet's home, complete with balcony, which tourists come to gawk at. The name of the family that owned the home was the Cappellos, similar to Shakespeare's Capulets, which probably triggered its original link to the fictionalized Juliet. In the small courtyard, there is a statue of Juliet, and supposedly, if you put your hand on her right breast, you will have luck in love. (Ugh. What kind of horrible tradition is that? I refused to participate and I didn't let AJ either. I can't remember if he wanted to or not.) As a result, the finish on her right breast is completely worn off.

I also saw the Roman era arena. It is right off the main piazza at the entrance to Verona's city center. It doesn't have the majesty of the Colisseum, mostly because the interior was currently set up with lots of chairs and a stage--it is used during the summer season as a performance venue. AJ's parents saw a performance of a Romeo and Juliet opera there this summer. With the Colisseum, you can see all the excavated cavities under the main arena floor.
And here is a medieval bridge, the Ponte Scaligero, built by Cangrande. After the Germans blew it up, the Veronese dredged the river to salvage the masonry in order to rebuild it.

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Down's Syndrome Scare

AMA: American Motorcycle Association? Academy of Model Aeronautics? American Medical Association? No, no, and no. My most recent encounter with this acronym was last Thursday when I went in for my Level-2 ultrasound.

To be admitted to the Maternal and Fetal Medicine Clinic, women must be referred by their primary care obstetrician. The clinic, located within a hospital, "offer[s] a comprehensive range of personalized high-risk obstetrical care and fetal diagnosis and treatment services." As I filled out the paper, I was interested to notice that in the space for diagnosis, it listed Advanced Maternal Age: AMA. Even though my previous two pregnancies have gone smoothly with not a single complication, I am now classified as "high-risk" and am in need of a more detailed ultrasound simply by virtue of my age.

Of course, being of advanced maternal age, and having that reminder each time I visit the doctor's office, I have worried about Down's. Of all the possible fetal complications for older mothers, Down's is probably the most well known and the increasing risks by age are well documented. I have worried on and off about Down's since we found out I was pregnant.

That fear was almost completely eliminated when I received the results of the maternal serum screen that is given at 16 weeks to evaluate risks of neural tube defects and chromosomal abnormalities. I passed with flying colors, with my odds of Downs coming back as 1 in 3500. This is compared to a rate of 1 in 225 for my age group. The doctor said that I had a similar risk to a 20 year old, but looking at the chart I cited earlier, the screen gave me a much lower risk than the average 20 year old.

I scheduled my ultrasound for 21-weeks, since we were out of town and this was the soonest we could do it. After it was over, a doctor came in and talked to us about the results. Everything looked fine, save for one thing. The baby's nuchal fold was extra thick. The technician's three measurements were 5.5 mm, 5.5 mm, and 6.2 mm. The average for a baby of our gestation is closer to 3. An increased nuchal fold is a primary physical characteristic of Down's babies. We talked with the doctor for quite a while, asking a lot of questions, trying to understand the evidence and what our options were. With what they saw on the ultrasound, the doctor put our risk for Down's at 1 in 175.

After talking for a few minutes by ourselves, we decided to go ahead with an amniocentesis so that we could find out for sure one way or another about our baby. I know myself. I am terrible in transitions, and if we did have a baby with Down's, I knew that I would be much better able to handle it if I had time before he was born to do research, talk to specialists, and find support groups. I also knew that I would worry incessantly for the entire second half of my pregnancy if I didn't know, even if the risk was less than 1%.

The amnio wasn't as bad as I had always imagined that it would be. It only felt a little worse than getting a shot. Happily, the needle was a lot shorter than I expected and I just held AJ's hand and looked away. It was over quickly, and I didn't even need a band-aid. I felt fine the rest of the day.

They told us to expect the inital results by Monday. The full chromosomal panel would be completed by 10-14 days, but with certain labratory techniques, abnormalities in several chromosomes could be detected much more quickly than that.

I held it together pretty well on Thursday. I was processing everything the doctor told us and after we returned home, I tried to find more detailed information online about risks and what the doctor told us. I went to bed pretty early (continuing jet lag) and then got up at 4 am on Friday when T climbed into bed with us and I couldn't go back to sleep. That's a long time to be alone and quiet in the dark and by 7 am I was worried and in a state. My emotional reaction was: "I cannot handle the kids I have now. There is no way I could handle a special needs child."

The whole day Friday, I felt really tired and down. I was worried about what would happen and couldn't set aside my anxieties. I was hunkering down for a long weekend with my worries, wondering if I should skip out of church. But, then I got a call from a genetic counselor associated with the clinic at about 4:30 that afternoon. We were clear--everything looked good. I asked a lot more questions, but was just relieved to get the word and get it so much sooner that I had anticipated.

Oh, and although we saw really clearly on the ultrasound (I love this shot AJ described as baby porn) , the chromosomal tests confirmed that our baby is XY all the way. T has decided that we should name the baby Sportacus. I think it sounds great with out last name, and so we will be calling him that for the duration of the pregnancy.

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Market Day

Tuesdays and Thursdays are market day in Vicenza. Starting around 8 in the morning, the entire piazza and up the side streets are filled with vendors hawking their wares under tents. Just the sheer logistics of getting their goods in and out of selling areas is remarkable. I love walking around, looking at all the clothes and the people who are are out shopping. There is always a good lively crowd--older women in heels and suits with perfectly coiffed hair, mothers with their babies in strollers, young people. It feels like the whole of Vicenza comes out for the market. Forget about Target or the grocery store. So much of what you need is right there. Clothes of all types, ties and scarfs, knick-knacks, kitchen pots and pans, tablecloths and blankets, plus produce, fish, cheese and flowers are all available within feet of each other. In a short time, you can gather everything you need.

I found a great bag that I have been using ever since, including our trip to Tuscany. I can sling over my chest, making it so much easier to carry that my other bag which constantly slips off my shoulder. And I got a poncho which I thought would work well for a winter pregnancy. I have been wearing it since then--it has been chilly in the mornings.

I think the picture that T took of Nana at the market is pretty good, by the way.

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Nove and Marostica

On Monday in the late morning, we made a trip over to Nove to look at the ceramics. TF took T to the zoo and playground in the area, and C and I went over to the ceramics stores. The warehouse type store is piled high with ceramics of all varieties, and I kept envisioning T running through the aisles. Happily, he was otherwise engaged. I picked up a couple of platters for gifts that I needed to give, plus a huge mosaic platter of Florence that I will put in our front room. Unfortunately, they did not have all of the colors of the chicken plates I wanted to get my mom for Christmas. I think we will go back on Monday so I can pick those up before we leave.

Then, we went over to Marostica for some lunch. T was very cranky, very contrary, but after eating, he seemed to be doing better. Marostica also has a city wall, but is unique because the wall was built up a steep hill with a castle at the top. You can see the wall in this photo. Not the best shot of the main piazza--there seemed to be cranes all over Italy. T had a great time swinging his sword around in front of the castle at the base of the hill too.

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