Sunday, July 12, 2009

For a brief shining moment...

Last week, I was contacted by a liberal arts university in the area that was adding a section of an intro sociology class. I had emailed around my vita in the spring looking for adjunct teaching, and nothing had turned up initially. I was excited about the possibility--only one class to teach. It would be personally manageable and I could get some experience teaching and building my vita. I brainstormed a lot about what an intro class could look like. I googled intro syllabi. I was invigorated. I started daydreaming about what it would be like to be teaching classes in a university setting and imagining my life more concretely with work. I also had a great conversation with the department chair.

Then, it turned out that a member of the faculty there decided rather belatedly that he would take on an extra class. The department chair was obligated to go with the faculty member.

It wasn't wasted time. I hope that there will be other opportunities at this university. But, I do feel dejected. And somewhat aimless about my life right now. I wonder if things will ever be different and will ever feel settled for me. We have all these ideas about goals for our life. But, will anything really change?

5 comments:

Brooke said...

Aaargh! I clenched my teeth in intense frustration just reading about that, and it didn't even happen to me! I'm glad you're keeping a somewhat positive attitude about the situation -- I would be beyond mad if I had gone through the prep work, only to have the job snatched away. Keep on, though. Good luck!

Belle said...

Happily, I really didn't do much prep work other than some brainstorming and the whole thing unfolded over the course of only a few days, so it's not so bad. It was just that shimmering vision in my mind that was hard to let go of. At least for the immediate future.

Jen said...

It wasn't McAllister, was it? My two best friends from high school went there (it was a really random coincidence....one went for intl relations and another because she got a track & field scholarship).

I say keep at it....with your qualifications something great will come up sooner or later!

I just applied for an adjunct position with the local community college system in our area. I talked to the head of the dept and I might be too late for the fall, but the conversation left me hopeful. I think I would really enjoy the teaching experience, so I'm hopeful it will work out. We'll see if it happens....

Belle said...

Hey Jen, No it wasn't Macalaster, it was Augsburg. The hardest thing for me with finding a job is the networking. I'm not much of a people person and all of AJ's suggestions are for networking kind of activities. How did you find your current job? Good luck on your adjunct hunt too. Gosh, once Asher starts school you'll be at a major turning point That seems too far distant for me right now--4 years from this fall.

Jen said...

I am horrible at networking. At MBA events, I would have to force myself to go....I told myself what was the point of getting an MBA without making contacts with people? I think it happens much more naturally when you are in a working environment... but when you've been mostly home for the past few years, I've found it very very challenging. It is also very difficult for women to network with other members in our church...something that men do with each other all the time.

First of all, there aren't a lot of women to network professionally with...and the men tend to avoid talking to other women (at least this is my experience in our current ultra conservative ward but probably not everywhere. Astoria Ward was not like that at all).

My current job just started as a part-time teaching position in the summertime that I applied for and got an interview. I decided to do it but wasn't terribly excited about it....the hours and location were good. The next year they asked me to be a director, which has turned into full time work in the summer and part time during the school year. I got in at the beginning of their growth curve...the directors they have hired since have had much more work experience than me...so I was lucky. It isn't a dream job, but as far as pay, flexibility and location, it is ideal for now.

Asher's kindergarten entrance a year from this fall both excites me and terrifies me. I feel like I have not prepared myself well at all to reenter the labor market and I feel angry at myself for not using the time better, but then I wonder where I could have found the time to do more without sacrificing time with the boys...which is sort-of the whole point of staying home. I have one more year....and Ed is working nights again...so I will push ahead this year and see what I can do in a year.

I probably shouldn't make this public news yet, but Ed will probably go to law school starting a year from this fall....part time while he continues to work full time at the Post...which will force most of the child and house duties on me for the next four years. I am caught between resentment and a real desire for Ed to realize some of his goals (after all, he helped me through grad school, shouldn't I return the favor?)

Sorry, this is getting really long... but thanks for making your blog such a therapeutic forum for women caught between career and kids. Belle, I hope you find what you are looking for very soon...I have a good feeling it will happen!