Medium Man

When T was born, we started calling him "little man."
We have continued to use that moniker for him. Then baby Z was born. All the nicknames that I used for T came easily to my tongue for baby Z, including "little man." Happily, T didn't seem to feel like his position was being usurped when this name was shared with his brother. In fact, he decided it was time for a promotion. He now tells us that he is "medium man", putting him in the middle slot between the other two males in our family.

I'm not sure if it is because we have two boys in a row, but it is natural for me to compare baby Z with T. It feels different than when T was born and MJ was 3. Both AJ and I have noticed how huge T seems. His hands, his feet, and especially his head seem freakishly large. Before, he was the littlest in the family. He would snuggle up to me to read. I would hold his hand as we walked into the library or grocery store. He still does those things, but he feels so less little. He is not a little boy anymore. He is just a boy.

Last night, as I was laying in bed nursing baby Z around 4:30 am, I thought about T. He used to routinely climb into bed with us early in the morning. I'm not sure what happened, but it felt like as soon as we brought baby Z home from the hospital, he stopped doing this and now just stays in his bed until he is ready to wake up. Maybe he has been doing this less over the last few months, but when I realized what I saw as its coinciding with baby Z's birth, I felt a pang of sorrow. T is growing up. He is turning into a real kid.

With MJ, I was anxious for her to grow up, to start school. Maybe because she is the oldest, maybe for some other reason. I don't feel quite the same way with T. I love the time I spend with him during the day when MJ is at school. He is such a fun and pleasant child. He makes me laugh. I hope his promotion to medium man doesn't change our relationship too much. And I hope he can still be my little boy for a while longer.