Cocoon

I feel like time has stalled, ever since baby Z was born. I find it impossible to believe that we are nearing the end of March and that Easter is almost here. (Perhaps this is mostly due to the fact that there is still snow on the ground here and that we have another winter storm warning tonight, though.)

I am sitting comfortably out of time, for now. I haven't been many places, and baby Z has been to even fewer. I haven't worried about how the house looks and with so many people offering food and my mom here, I haven't had to cook much. I haven't been to church since he was born and haven't thought about Enrichment. I have been wearing my glasses more often than contacts, along with AJ's XL t-shirts and "comfy" pants (aka pants I can fit into) and my hair pulled back. When MJ and T are downstairs arguing with each other, I ignore them and let someone else handle it. I have basically stopped doing the things that keep our lives going, for the time being, to focus on caring for a newborn and to recuperate from giving birth.

The lovely thing about this time with a brand new infant is that I am actually enjoying it. With MJ, the recovery was much more difficult and the breastfeeding was so difficult for the first 6 weeks that I was in a painful fog for a lot of the time. It was also quite a mental shock to transition from non-mother to mother. With T, his tendency to sleep all day and not sleep at night made life difficult. I also didn't really feel connected to him at first, like I mentioned earlier. That's not to say that I didn't like MJ and T's newborn days, but it felt a little harder.

This time with baby Z has been a gift. He is sleeping for long stretches at night, so I don't feel so sleep deprived. He has been calm and pleasant so far. I know this is likely to all change soon--probably about the same time as my mom leaves and AJ is back to work full time. I also know more what to do with a newborn and feel less stressed about it. Again, knowing myself, this will probably be short-lived. But, for now, I am basking in the cacoon.

I hope by the time we feel ready to emerge spring will be well on its way.