Kolob

I've never played an organ solo in church before. My freshman year of college, I played a short recital in the old JSB before it was torn down, but other than that, I have never played for an audience with their listening being my sole intention. Yeah, I play "solos" every time I play postlude or prelude, but who really listens to that?

A couple of months ago, the ward music chairman June, an 85 year old woman in our ward, asked me to play an organ solo. She left a message, and it took me a while to call her back. I didn't want to do it. It would mean at least a few visits and several hours practicing at the church. It's hard to get over there, I can't take the kids, and on and on. But, I agreed to do it, and I have been practicing an arrangement of If You Could Hie to Kolob. I think it's a weird hymn to sing. I don't love the words, and remember as a missionary never wanting it to be sung when we had investigators at church. But, I absolutely love the music.

I had a great time practicing it the last few weeks. It's been a while since I've learned a new piece and really practiced something. The haunting and mysterious melody has been in my head a lot these last couple of weeks.

As I was practicing and learning the different sections, each one connoted a different mood to me. The first section has lots of eighth notes in all three parts and is quite lyrical. The melody is introduced in a fairly standard, but lovely way. In the second section, the melody moves to the left hand and the right embellishes above it. It is more reserved after a strong opening. The third section is firm and steady. The eighth notes disappear and it is more like a march with the melody coming out as a strong and single note. The volume starts to build. In the transition between the third and fourth section, the volume and movement grows and in the fourth section there is more movement in the pedals. The tempo slows, both hands are on the great, and it crests to a majestic ending, with the final notes sounding a major key chord.

To me, the music suggests the mysteriousness of heaven and the unknown and cloaked God. But, at the same time, the music gives a glimpse into the eternal realm that to me is so elusive on a day to day basis.

The performance came off well. I was nervous and shaky, and my mind wasn't thinking of the mysteries of heaven. In fact, my mind seemed blank and my hands seemed to go to automatic pilot. I felt good about it, though, in spite of the nerves and the notes were solid. I got a lot of positive comments. I was thrilled with the "we should have more organ solos" type since I never hear them. Playing organ is such a background part of church and most everything hardly thinks twice about it. I was most touched by the choir director's comments. She was quite moved by the music--she also said that it one piece of music that gives her a glimpse into heaven and with tears in her eyes, she told me that if nothing else had been spoken during the meeting that it would been enough for her. I responded with an emotional thank you and thought to myself that all the hours of practice had been worth it.

My recent church experience has felt quite empty. Most days, I can hardly stand to go to classes, my mind wanders through talks, and I long for a calling that demands spiritual strength from me. But, I am grateful that I was able to have this experience today and be blessed by the spirit in an unexpected way.