If you take a kid to soccer...

All my kids have liked the "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" books. One small thing happens, which leads to something else and then to something else, until you have a whole wacky string of events. Sometimes real-life random events with kids feel like they come directly from these pages, but not in a fun kind of storybook way.

Here's ours from last night and this morning:

• If you take a kid to soccer, he will run around a lot and need to drink a lot of liquids.
• When he comes home, it will be time for bed. If he and his little brother can't go to sleep in the same room because they goof around too much, he will go to sleep in his parents' bed.
• If all the kids finally get to sleep before 10, mom and dad will bask in a quiet house and try to get things done.
• If they take a long to come to bed, they will leave the soccer boy slumbering in their bed without taking him to the bathroom one last time. And just seconds before they come to bed, the soccer kid will expel an amazingly large amount of urine all over himself and his parents' bed, all without waking up.
• If the soccer kid wets all over himself and his parents' bed right before his parents are about to collapse into sleep, the dad won't feel like taking the time to find a entire new set of pajamas and will put soccer boy into the lower bunk bed with his little brother in only his underwear and with only one blanket.
• If soccer boy is sleeping only in his underwear in his brother's bed, he will try to steal the blanket because he is cold.
• If the blanket stealing happens early in the morning, little brother will not be sleeping deeply enough to ignore it and he will wake up and start screaming "My blanket!" over and over even though he went to sleep far later than he should the night before.
• And if your kid wakes up at 5:30, chances are you will not be able to go back to sleep, even if dad got up to take care of him. And even more likely, chances are that your kid will be cranky all day.