Disappointing evening

Last night I attended book group where we discussed the authorized biography of Mother Teresa. It also seemed to be an authorized discussion of her as well, as virtually no one said anything askance about her. Except me that is. I tried to ask thought provoking questions in a non-offensive way about some of the issues I had read about and felt. But, most everyone was quick to support her. And my questions were mostly after the lengthy discussion about all the good things she has done. Which I agree are many. She is an amazing woman. I fully concur. But, she was not a perfect woman. Can we not talk about her in a human way? Why can't we say, "She made mistakes" instead of, "well, her mission was to love and to help the poor. That was all she could do. It doesn't matter that she didn't really do anything to prevent the spread of infectious diseases in her homes for death." I'm not saying that the previous statement isn't true. It very well might be. But, why can't we talk about it??? I guess I won't suggest that we read and study the background for the revelation about extending preisthood to the blacks. I can only imagine how this type of reaction would play out when discussing a prophet and the "only true and living church."

I have been depressed the last few days. And I came home last night depressed. Between this and a small incident last week, I feel lonely and am longing for some local friends. Not just really nice people who I can associate with (of which there are quite a few), but friends who want to puzzle about issues and ask questions and who I can have in depth, interesting, and meaty conversations with. Everyone last night seemed happy about MT's very traditional view on women. "Isn't it great how she spoke out on abortion?" In a very radical and militant way, in my view. "And how she wanted women to stay in the home?" "Isn't this a great quote: 'Home if where mother is.'" It made me feel so abnormal.

Maybe part of the reason why I have been depressed is the resurfacing of the issue of my place. I don't feel comfortable where I'm at right now. I don't love it. It doesn't feel "right". I wish I knew that someday I would feel settled in a (metaphysical) place. We had dinner with an amazing couple whom I desparately wish live in our ward boundaries. She is my age and has just started grad school in rhetoric and women's studies. She has two kids, both a little bit older than MJ and T. Her life is crazy and busy, but she has a direction and a path that she feels great about, and to me, it's an exciting one. Too bad she's so busy that she doesn't have a lot of time to socialize. We talked about so many interesting things. Maybe that also made me long for things that I don't have in my life right now.

How do I find more women like this? I want to start another discussion/book group. Oh, how I miss my my NYC friends and my book group in Pittsburgh. (They also met last night, and I couldn't help but think about what they were talking about.) I'm sure these kind of women must exist in the greater Minneapolis area, but how do I find them?