Three Weeks with My Brother--Audio

Nicholas Sparks is a well known and best selling novelist. I haven't read anything by him, but now know all about his life listening to the audio version of Three Weeks With My Brother. It was the perfect audio book--it wasn't complicated and the story was interesting enough to keep my attention. Previous to this, I had two aborted audio books. John Adams was a mammoth 21 cassettes, and I knew it would be hard to pay attention all the way through. And Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil just didn't capture my fancy after the first side of the first tape.

A few thoughts.

1. Before T was born, we thought a lot about the name Micah for a boy. I like it now more than ever and would consider it in the future if the circumstance arose.
2. The book toggles between the author's past and current, where he and his brother Micah take a 3 week trip around the world. I was attracted to it initially as a travel book, but it turns out the memoir of Sparks and his family was much more interesting to me than hearing about all the sights he and Micah visited. And really, the sights of Machu Pichu and Ayer's Rock and on and on served mostly to detail the relationship between the brothers and provide the framework to reflect on their past shared history. I didn't know much about it before starting, which heightened the suspense and uncertainty of what would happen to their family.
   
3. There were a lot of things I couldn't believe in the description of themselves as children. The parents were very hands off letting them run around and discover things and get into a lot of trouble. I can't imagine a parent being able to raise children this way today. A lot of it was shocking.
   
4. It is quite amazing to think of all these two brothers have been through. Over the period of about 10 years, both of their parents had dies in tragic accidents, and their sister suffered from a fatal brain tumor. It does seem like too much for one family to endure. The story evolves over time, and it is clear that the events have pulled the two brothers together. it made me wish that I had a closer relationship with my sisters. It's also interesting to see how they both responded to the tragic events.
   
5. Sparks' wife Katherine (who he calls Kat) is amazing. She stays home with her 5 kids, while her husband goes on book tours and takes a three week vacation with his brother. I would have a hard time with that.
   

Read more . . .

Reading

I have posted a lot about the books I've read. I love to read, and always am in the middle of something. I often carry a book or a copy of the New Yorker around with me, because you never know when you might be stuck in a line, or in some other place waiting. And I usually read when I'm at the gym.

I have always loved to read. I started reading at a young age, and remember the stacks of library books I would check out from the local bookmobile. Making it through them was one of my favorite summer experiences.

For the first 20 or so years of my reading career, I mostly read fiction (although I do remember reading quite a few biographies as a kid). But, in the last 10 years, I have come to appreciate non-fiction much more and probably read more of it than fiction now. I think that the switch was fueled by the realization that I could learn so so much about (what I perceive as) the real world. (Not to say that I couldn't learn about the real world from reading fiction, but it's obviously quite a bit different.) However, I will never be one who doesn't have time to read fiction--and am quite happy to occasionally pick up some escapist novel.

Anyway, last month for our book group, we read the transcript of a BYU devotional talk given by Van Gessel, the dean of the humanities department. There were a lot of interesting ideas in it about culture and literature. He quotes Sven Birkets, and I've thought a lot about this since:

To open a book voluntarily is at some level to remark the insufficienty either of one's life or of one's orientation toward it. When we read, we not only transplant ourselves to the place of the text, but we modify our natural angle of regard upon all things; we reposition the self in order to to see differently.

Gessel uses this to further his argument about how reading good literature (he mostly considers this the "classics") engenders empathy and understanding for people and situations that we could otherwise not gain to nearly the same extent. But for me, the impact of the quotation speaks more to my need to a window peering out of my very narrow life right now. I am home with my kids. I am physically in my home for a great deal of time each day. My daily concerns center on feeding, clothing, entertaining, and keeping peace (or physically restraining) my children. I get weary of it. But because at this moment there is not a lot of chance to have a substantial change in my circumstances, I turn to reading as an outlet. It give my mind something to chew on. And with my recent discovery of audio books (and my very exciting christmas present of an IPod Shuffle), I don't have to feel guilty (as I sometimes do) to sit down with a book while neglecting my home. Instead, I can listen to a book as I do the dishes and clean up.

Someday when my circumstances are different, or when we make a change in the way we do things at home, then I hope to have other outlets and develop other interests and talent. But, for the moment, I am very grateful for books. (And, I must say, for our library system that allows me to order in any book I want and have it delivered to my local branch.)

Read more . . .

After Christmas Holiday Shopping

So my sister said that she can't imagine why anyone would go shopping the day after Christmas. I think it's my favorite day of the year to shop. While I really don't get excited about shopping the day after Thanksgiving, I love shopping the Christmas clearance aisles the day after Christmas. AJ's sister got me hooked a few years back. You just go out first thing in the morning (although I didn't go until the end of the morning yesterday) and go to the places where you want to look for Christmas stuff. I got quite a few ornaments at Cost Plus World Market 75% off. I got some stockings at Michaels, 50% off. I got a 2007 calendar, 50% off and some clearance items at Old Navy including slippers for Andy. I went to Pier One, which in the past has yielded great finds, but nothing from there this year. And my favorite purchase of this end of Christmas season were a couple of sets of simple red plates from Target. 50% off. I will use them for Christmas, but also other holidays like Valentines and 4th of July. Plus, I could really use them any time of the year with the yellow and red napkins and placemats from New Mexico that the in-laws got me a few years back. Yeah! I'm really happy about those. My tree is decorated almost entirely with ornaments collected in after Christmas sales, and I have Christmas tablecloths and napkins too from shopping at Foleys with AJ's mom. Although I had an absolutely spectacular Christmas in Italy last year, I felt a little sad to miss the post holiday clearance.

The one thing that made me a little sick in my stomach? Not the shoppers, although there were quite a few. But, it was looking at the stock for the next big commercial venture: Valentines Day stuff. Please, just give me a little break!
Read more . . .

Children's Books at Christmas

Last year we started the tradition of opening a Christmas book each night until Christmas. When we went to Italy, we didn't keep it going 100%, but this year we have done a really good job. I wanted to write a list of all the books we've read this year (some from the library) and put a couple of notes about them here so that next year, I will remember what we liked and didn't like.

Two of Robert Sabuda's pop-up including The Night Before Christmas and The Twelve Days of Christmas. The kids especially love the first--probably because they associate it more with Christmas than the other.

This is the Star is a great one--different elements of the Christmas story are added on each page, until all are together. Drawings are beautiful, but T doesn't understand why the star, animals, etc are not on each page, even though it says, "here is the star in the sky" on each page.

You are Special and The Crippled Lamb are both by a Texas minister named Max Lucado. I used to think that he was Mormon, because these books are so popular among Church members. Just this afternoon, I was in a church bookstore, and saw several of his selections on their shelves, including Tu Eres Especial. When we started this tradition last year, my sister sent these two books as Christmas gifts. I didn’t like that the main characters were called Josh and Abigail, currently two of the most popular children’s names, in the Crippled Lamb. As if Lucado were trying to reach children by making the story feel more familiar and accessible to them. (Of course, in the other book, he uses the unheard of Punchinello and Lucia.) He also delivers the moral/spiritual message with quite a whomp on the head. It reminded me a bit of a Veggie Tales book that the kids found at the library. After reading it once with them, I quickly squirreled it away and returned it early. I wonder how to best teach children about spiritual things. Clearly, for children, subtle message often spin into oblivion with them. Maybe a clear, oft repeated, no fuzziness message helps them to internalize spiritual teachings. I want to think more on this: what is the best way to help children have authentic spiritual experiences and learn spiritual things.

Pop-Up Nativity This is a new one, a gift from my mom. I love it. The author's name is Italian (not sure where she lives), but the pictures are very Renaissance looking. MJ loves it and thinks Mary and the angels in it are beautiful.

One of my favorite author discoveries this year is Tomie DePaola. I knew him before from a variety of books, most notably Strega Nona. This year, reading about the Mexican tradition of Las Posadas and legend of the poinsettia took on special meaning since MJ is learning Spanish at school. I am also somewhat enthralled with the mystery of Catholic traditions ever since going to Italy last year. Plus, I just love DePaola's drawing. MJ has asked to read these ones over and over. The Miracle of Las Posadas and The Legend of the Poinsettia.

Last week, as I was coming home from a Christmas concert, The Story with Dick Gordon was on NPR. He had a charming converstion with Tomie DePaola--half Irish, half Italian, and grew up in Connecticut. He reminisced with many Christmas stories from his youth and childhood and it was just delightful to listen to. Maybe next year, we will try this book of his--a chapter book for older children: Christmas Remembered

We got this one last year. The Legend of the Christmas Rose. It is the story of the little sister of some of the shepherds. She desparately wants to meet the baby King, but is told she cannot come. Instead of being left at home though, she trails behind her brothers only to discover when they are almost there that she has no gift to give. I love that it injects a new female into the traditional story. And the drawings are exquisite.

I also got Snowmen at Christmas last year. It is the whimsical story of the snowpeople (and animals) coming to life to celebrate their own Christmas in the night. I don't love it though. The rhyme seems forced. And the CTR on the hat of one of the snowman is a little weird in my opinion--a symbol to insiders, but meaningless for everyone else. Maybe it is meant as joke to those in the know. That said, the pictures are fun and the kids like looking at it.

One of the things I noticed this year is that we have a lot of longer stories and not much that T wanted to sit through. This was one exception: Touch and Feel First Christmas. Although it gets old the 10th time through, there are lots of interesting things to look at and we have enjoyed looking for new things each time through.

Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey is another Mormon favorite. This is one of AJ's favorites, and he has read it through in its lengthy entirity several times with MJ. I like this story much more than Lucado's.

You Can Do It Sam was a recommendation from a friend. It is a simple story that T could appreciate about a small bear delivering Christmas cakes with his mother to their friends.

Tale of Three Trees is not really a Christmas book. Three trees each play a part in the life of Jesus: manger, sailing boat, cross. MJ liked it, I thought it was ok.


A Certain Small Shepherd We checked this one out from the library, but then didn't read it. It is a longer story, Maybe we can try this another year.

I got How The Grinch Stole Christmas this year too. Old favorite, of course. We haven't been able to catch it on tv yet.

Another favorite: The Polar Express. We watched the film last night as a family, and I was surprised by the language that MJ remembered from the book: "here's the part where they scrape the moon."

We didn't read these this year, but they were on our list last year.
Why Christmas Trees aren't Perfect is the story of a tree who gave of him/herself to others (a fox, a bird), yet was chosen to adorn the palace precisely because of the selflessness. I didn't love this one, but it was a big hit at the ward party last year when AJ read it.
Mr Willowby's Christmas Tree is the story of how one tree was used to give joy to many families. Fun--MJ liked it a lot.
Read more . . .

Rebecca on audio

I have loved discovering books on tape. Thanks Harry Potter and Jim Dale! After listening to all seven of these, I turned to Rebecca which I borrowed from S when we drove from New Jersey to Minnesota. I loved the narrator of the book--she had such a nice English accent. She didn't do as well as Jim Dale changing her voice for the different characters, but it was still great. I like a review on Amazon: "Read in wonderfully British cadences by Anna Massey, all the mysterious and oppressive nuances are made immediate and chilling. We even feel some sympathy for the absurdly timid and cowering heroine; it is, after all, easy to imagine feeling woefully inferior to the predecessor and desperately eager to please."

It has been a long time since I read Rebecca. I kept wondering if the book's narrator would ever be named, but she never was, in comparison with the larger than life Rebecca. I love the way DuMarier portrays her wild imagination--the vivid scenarios that she imagines will happen in this or that situation. An especially memorable scene is when the narrator is imagining that she is Rebecca at dinner and Max catches her at it, wondering at the glint in her eye and her strange gestures. he can almost reconstruct what is going on in her mind.

Other than that, I get so infuriated with her weakness, fraility, and timidity. Why doesn't she stand up to Mrs Danvers? Why doesn't she take a bit of control of Manderly? Why doesn't she assert that she is the new lady of the house? Why doesn't she have a frank conversation with Max about her fears and that Mrs Danvers was the one that put her up to the costume for the fancy ball? She is portrayed in typical female tones--dependent on her husband, won't drive the car, is relegated to household organization and flower arranging. I wonder what time period DuMarier was trying to portray. There were no outside references that I could place it.

But, DuMarier has created a wonderful story. The way it unravels bit by bit. The way she starts with the narrator's dream return to Manderly, and then takes us back. It was wonderful to listen to it and remember the story and it has made me anxious to listen to other audio books. Such a great way to do the dishes. Thank you mom for sending me that old school cassette walkman that I can just put in my pocket and listen as I go about the dreary household chores and also when I'm in the car and the kids are asking to listen to their cd's yet again.
Read more . . .

Year of Wonders

I just finished Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks. It is the story of a village in England where the plague hit and which voluntarily isolated itself to prevent the disease from spreading to other locations. The narrator is a young woman who loses her two children and witnesses the demise of 2/3 of the village's residents.

It was a pretty good read, but I don't have too much to say about it. Her descriptions of the plague's toll and the number of villagers that it touched are horrific. She explores whether people can retain humanity in the middle of such terrible circumstances. And she describes how Anna's life is altered through the experience. It does seem like Anna is a bit ananchronistic, with modern sensibilities--it does make her more likable to me.
Read more . . .

Another book by Mary Roach

I recently read Mary Roach's newest book called Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife. I really liked Stiff, her book about how human cadavars are used. But, I didn't like this book as much. Yes, the research she described was cooky, interesting, and crazy to read about. The scientific experiments she writes about that were and are actually being conducted to look for evidence of life after death included: weighing a person directly before and after death with the hypothesis that a slight decrease in weight suggests the departing of the soul; placing a computer facing the ceiling in a hospital room where a person undergoing a procedure that momentarily stops the heart (and thus causes the person to "die" for a very short time) to determine if the person can remember seeing the items on the screen, suggesting an out-of-body experience; she goes with a reincarnation specialist to investigate claims of life in another body; scientific explanations for ghost sitings; and on and on. In the end, she finds very little hard evidence that life exists beyond the here and now of earth.

She didn't attempt to answer questions of a spiritual nature about post-mortal existence. She was examining age old questions in a new light, and that makes her book novel and interesting. But, despite this, the age old answers are ultimately more satisifying. Even though we may be able to find scientific evidence for life after death, the true answers aren't to be found in such methods as these. Faith and personal revelation given by the Holy Ghost are in the end really the only way to find satisfactorily convincing understanding of these issues.
Read more . . .

Body Worlds

The day after Thanksgiving, AJ and I went to the Minnesota Science Museum to see the BodyWorlds exhibit, leaving the kids in the care of nana and papa. I was a little distressed getting there, since there was no parking. Shopping, a hockey game, and Hmong New Year all in the same part of St Paul resulted in large numbers of cars. I finally dropped AJ off and drove into a residential area 10 minutes walk from the museum to park. Ugh.

BodyWorlds exhibits plasticized human bodies. Prior to death, people donated their bodies to science and some of them ended up plasticized, a process of polymerization. (This was described in Mary Roach's book Stiff, which I wrote a bit about earlier.) Depending on the display, certain parts of the body were plasticized and other removed. I alternated between being totally fascinated by the human organ systems that were shown in such a remarkable fashion (I especially loved the circulatory system), and then remembering that these used to be real people. I felt that the most with the 8 month pregnant woman--but it was so incredible to see the baby in utero too. For the majority of the time, I thought of them as really amazing displays of the human body, and then every once in a while, something would jolt me to remember that they had former lives. The toenails especially did this for me.

I didn't like the human body as art take. I felt like it was disrespectful and that if I had donated my body to be plasticized, I wouldn't mind being displayed to show my organs, but I would mind if my muscles had been cut and shaped to look like a mane.

All in all, though, it was very intersting and I'm glad we went. And I really want to go back to see the whole science museum.
Read more . . .

I LOVE Jim Dale

This summer as we were painting almost every square inch of our house's interior, I listened to every single Harry Potter book on tale. I didn't think I could love them any more than I already do, but Jim Dale really brought the characters even more to life for me. JK Rowling does such an amazing job with her characters in describing them in so much detail, and then Dale's voices, each character completely unique. What a wonderful joy to listen to. And thank you Hennepin County Library for having them all on tape so that I could listen!

Andy also listened to some of the 7 books. He thought it would be fun to download them on his IPod. Turns out they are $50 a pop. Guess not.
Read more . . .

A Vampire Book?

So, I've puzzled over the rage about vampires. The whole Buffy thing. I personally haven't watched any of it, but I mean, vampires? Kinda weird if you ask me.

Anyway, I wonder if Stephenie Meyer is a Buffy fan and that's where the inspiration came from for the dream she had that triggered the beginning of her novel Twilight. I was reading her blog today, and it's a crazy story. Here she is, a SAHM of three boys. Not really an aspiring writer, and hasn't really written anything much at all. But, she wakes up with the memories of a vivid dream about a human girl and a vampire boy who are desperately in love. And hence the catalyst for Twilight. And she finished it in something like three months. A 500 page book in three months. Wow. She was obsessed and that story just kept churning in her mind.

Also intriguing to me, as with Shannon Hale, is how she was able to write this and other works and go on book tours and have this successful career when she is primarily a mom.

So, the book. It was a good story. It didn't have beautiful language. I read this one right after Princess Academy, and the difference was clear between them. Meyer's language is much simpler. That's not a great way to explain. Hmm. The languaged wasn't as nuanced. It was more cut and dried. And I felt like Meyer's characters were a little flatter than Hales.

Aside from the comparison, though, the story was interesting. The whole development of what vampires' lives might be like if they tried to live within human society was creative and clever. Their magical powers, how they come to be--on and on.

And the story of star crossed adolescents who can't be together--it's a proven formula for success. The obstacles they must overcome, their determination to do so.

And in spite of all the glowing reviews by readers that I read, I didn't really feel it resonate with me.

A good book, though, and I'll read the sequel because I'm curious about it. Maybe I'll check out the book on tape and see how I like it read aloud.
Read more . . .

Italian geneological mystery

Blood Washes Blood is the account of a man trying to find out the story of his great grandfather and namesake, a Sicilian. On his deathbed, His grandfather whispers to him the name of his great grandfather's murderer. Viviano feels compelled to return to his ancestral homeland to try to unwind the story of what really happened.

He goes to Sicily and lives there for long periods of time, goes to the parish and civic archives to sift through baptism, marriage, and death records (sound familiar?). He also finds old maps of the area, looks at newspaper articles, and on and on. Lots of tedious work. He also puts together the historical time period, including the formation of il potere, also known as the Mafia, in order to piece together a story. What he finds out is fascinating, an interesting twist at the end, that explains why his parents married and sheds light into his own personal identity.

Pretty interesting book. I didn't like the portions where he fictionalizes the history in a novel like way. It felt a little too detailed for a general audience, more appropriate perhaps for his family. I got a bit lost in the historical details. His dedication to solving the mystery were admirable and it made me think that I shoudl get back to my Italian history. The reason I picked it up: I heard about it on a yahoo groups list for Italian geneological research.
Read more . . .

Princess Academy

After I met Shannon Hale, and having missed book group in August where Princess Academy was discussed, I decided to check it out from the library and read it. Shannon described this as a transition book, meaning that it would have an appeal to girls who like princess stuff, but would be a bit more sophisticated and challenging than other princess materials. This made me rethink my original view of the book. I pooh poohed it a bit because of the title--disney princess and princesses in general have become too much in our house, although I think that MJ is growing out of it a bit. I hope!

I really liked this one. She has such a beautiful way of writing and I found myself thinking about how much Maren will like it (and how much I will like her to read it) when she's older. I think I liked this one better than the other two of hers that I have read.

Each of the three I have read of hers have a strong female character in common. And an element of mystical powers of being able to communicate with nature. Here, Miri is able to channel the powers of linder, a precious stone that her village quarries, in order to communicate with others in her village who have grown up with linder. She is a physically weak girl, and feels despair that she doesn't fit in to her village--her father forbids her from working in the quarry. She has a chance to expand her mind and locate some of her talents when a princess academy is created in order to teach the future princess the skills she needs. Miri returns to the village with a thirst for books and learning and wants to spend her time teaching others.

Good book. Speaks to human desire to find a place to fit in.
Read more . . .

William Tyndale, in three volumes

The selection for book group in October was Fire in the Bones by S. Michael Wilcox. It is an introductory look in William Tyndale's life, from a Mormon perspective.

My basic impressions:
1. It was an introduction for an audience that had never heard of Tyndale. (As it turns out, I am pretty much in that group.) But, it felt really simple. Like a lot of things were glossed over.
2. I didn't think Wilcox was a great storyteller. The story is compelling, but it didn't flow very well. He intersperses bits about the translation logistics and things of interest to a Mormon audience with the story. All interesting, but it didn't hold together super well.
3. Tyndale's shortcomings (whatever they are) were glossed over. It was very much a rah rah rah hero look at this man. I also felt like his part in the reformation and his ulterior motives of reform were lightly touched upon. He motives for translation were portrayed as purely to bring the light of the Bible to the fieldboy and servant woman. Nothing of the venom he felt for the Catholic church was described.
4. The language: ugh. Over the top flowery. Especially at the beginning.

All of the above are negative points. It was a decent introduction. As a stand alone book, I wasn't thrilled with it, but the topic was interesting enough (and his treatment skimpy enough) that I wanted to read other things.

Wide as the Waters covers all personalities and events that eventuated in the English translation of the Bible. Thus, the scope is much broader than Fire. It was also much more of an academic book which had some depth that Fire lacked. I liked getting the history from Wycliffe to the King James, with lots of interesting information about the reformation. (that is another of my critiques of Fire. The historical context was lacking.) The whole bit about King Henry VIII was fascinating. I was intrigued by the idea that the King's lust for a new wife (and a male heir), which led to his desire for a desire, caused a schism with the Catholic church and helped the reform movement in England. I haven't yet finished this book, but am going to get back to it soon. It is somewhat dense and takes and bit of time to get through.

The last book was God's Bestseller and I read the least amount of this one. Probably 150 pages or so. It was all about Tyndale, but it went into more depth on what paper was like back then, stuff like that. It didn't really add much to the story.

All in all, I enjoyed reading about Tyndale, the translation of the Bible into English, and the reformation and I learned a lot.
Read more . . .

Shannon Hale, revisited

Shannon Hale has been in the Minneapolis area the last few days promoting her new book. Rachelle, a woman from our ward, knew her pre-publication, and invited her to a small gathering at her house. Our book group read Princess Academy in August, and so most of them came to meet her, get books signed, hear her talk, etc. As I mentioned before, the thing I have been most intrigued with her is her ability to have this career while simultaneously caring for a young son, with another baby arriving in a few months. She said last night that she is mostly a mom who writes during her son's naps. Others were interested in hearing about her work, her views on HS English classes, and other topics. I really wanted to hear more about her family-work balance. I wanted to know how she was able to turn out quite a bit of work since her son was born almost three years ago and how she views her future as a writer and mother of two children. But of course, I was nervous in a large group, and couldn't break in forcefully enough to ask my questions. Then I had to leave a bit early to come home for our dinner guests. Maybe I"ll email her and ask her to blog about it.

Anyway, after the kids were in bed, I surfed around her website and thought enviously about her. I mean, she has this career-she is driven to write and she manages to write, and write successfully, and she is able to spend most of her time with her kid(s). Yes, she has worked a long time for this and has received a large number of rejections, she is passionate about her work, I'm thrilled for her success. But, I just spent the later part of the evening feeling depressed. I felt that familiar tinge of regret. Why didn't I pursue a career that was more hospitable to a mother-profession combination? I haven't been looking for work really, and wonder how I can keep at least a little toe in the door.

The good news is that the first substantive chapter of my dissertation has been accepted for publication and I have been working on the final edits the last couple of weeks. I will submit that to them today or tomorrow. And then I will send out the other two chapters and see how the reviews come back for that. And while I was sitting working on that today, the idea came to me to contact my former advisor at BYU and see if I could come to Provo for summer term to teach a class or classes. I think it could work. I would come with the kids, hopefully AJ could work remotely a bit, and we could hang out there for a couple months during the summer. Utah is probably the best place to do soemthing like this, as there is family in the area and other supports to make it possible. We would probably also have gone to Utah anyway for a family reunion, so it makes it all the more possible. I got emails back from her. My advisor is now the dept chair and she made it sound like a very possible option. So, we'll see where that goes. If I get to teach, I hope to make some connections with faculty there and perhaps get started on some other research projects. it might just be enough...Anyway, I am feeling more hopeful, but still wondering what is best.
Read more . . .

To Hell with All That

Loving and Loathing our Inner Housewife, by Caitlin Flanagan

I saw an ad in the New Yorker for this book and put in on hold at the library. (Turns out she is a staff writer for the New Yorker. I'm sure I've read some of her stuff, just didn't remember any of it.) I was number 20 on the wait list. I decided I'd better read it before I had to take it back since there is still a considerable wait list, and thus, I am not able to renew.

My general impression: 1. There was no coherent conection between chapters. No major theme, argument to connect it as a whole. Reading reviews, I see that these were originally published as magazine articles. still, it leaves me with an unsettled and choppy feeling.

2. At the end of the day, I'm not sure what she thinks. Her position isn't cohesive. For example, I started out thinking that she was against working mothers, but at the end, wasn't sure. This happened a lot so that I never quite got her bottome line. She seems to laud homekeeping, but then shares her supposed inability and her willingness to lower her standards and hire outside help. Here's how the NYTimes Book Review put it:

More distressing are Flanagan's contradictions, which make it easy to dismiss her. Like many contrarians, she spends too much time arguing against everyone else and not enough time considering her own opinions. She rails against doctrinaire feminists, yuppie parents, stay-at-home moms, political correctites and wives who won't put out. But she's often as guilty as her targets. She mocks boomers who pal around with their kids, then takes vacations at family-friendly resorts where she splashes about with her children. She laments her generation's failures at household maintenance, then admits she's "far too educated and uppity to have knuckled down and learned anything about stain removal" herself. Self-deprecating, yes. But also hypocritical.

3. She is a describing a world familiar to only a very few people. she has a personal organizer for goodness sake. And a nanny too. I can almost forgive her that one since she had twins (and her description of their first couple of years of life makes me regret ever thinking fondly about two babies for the price of one and I hope it never happens to me). Is elitish.
Read more . . .

Time to Kill--What to Do?

Ok, so I don't have a lot of time to kill, but I'm looking for a hobby. Or an outlet. Or something interesting for me (read only for me, not for my family) to do. I'm transitioning. Don't know what the final destination is (or if there will be a final FINAL destination). But, right now, I'm not actively looking for work. I'm taking care of my kids full time and trying to finish getting settled into our house. There is of course always more that needs to be done. but, I want something that is just for me.

Right now, I read. I read a lot. I'm always in the middle of a book and a New Yorker. So, there's something that's my thing.

I went today to a institute class that's just started up. I used a precious day of kid trading to try it out. I felt antsy the whole time I was there, mostly because it was a big group of women that I didn't know very well and that makes me nervous. Introvert, all the way. If I can get past that, which I'm sure I can given some time, I'm not sure how I'll like it. It's a pretty big group, and I wonder what kind of individual interaction (my preferred way of getting to know people) I'll have. The women in the group all seem to be at a more advanced stage in life, with older kids, and some are grandmothers. I'm not sure what the discussion will be like and how open I will feel to discuss. I'm sure it would be good for me to study the scriptures with a goal in hand and have a weekly forum to feel responsible for some coherent thought. I'm just not sure, though.

I have looked into taking some classes at a community college or other local institution. I haven't found the perfect fit for time and class though. I'm still holding onto this option as a good possibility, with high desirability. I am thinking perhaps an art history class, Italian history would be cool, maybe Italian language.

There's also my Italian family research. I'll continue that no matter what. The downside to focusing most of my free time on this is that there is little/no social interaction, and even with the introvert that I am, I need to make friends.

Hmm. I'll have to think on this some more. A post for another day: my feelings about grad school/future career/passion for my field vs. need for general academic stimulation.
Read more . . .

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavars

Ok, this is just a quick post on a book I finished a couple of weeks ago. It's by Mary Roach and it's all about all the interesting and amazing things cadavars are used for. One chapter is all about how cadavers are used to determine the forces that human bodies can endure in car crashes. Cadaver research was instrumental in designing seat belts and air bags. The intro chapter was about plastic surgeons practicing face lifts on cadavar heads. (It was a little freaky to hear her talk about them--the heads-- being in roaster pans.) And a chapter about a woody field outside of some university where they study rates of decay under varying circumstances, all to help forensic science. CSI all the way. Totally fascinating. And of course, a chapter on med students' use of cadavers in the gross anatomy lab.

It made me think about my death and what I want with my body afterwards. Definitely organ donation, no question about it. There was a section on the notion of where life resides in the body--when someone is brain dead, but their heart is still working, and how organs are harvested for donation. But, besides that, I have, up to this point, always favored a simple pine box. Now, I think, why even have a burial? There was a bit about green burials and turning humans back to the soil a la compost. Ideas like these have taken hold in areas like Europe where there isn't a lot of land for cemetaries, and those that are buried have only 30 or so years to reside there before the caskets are removed for someone else to take their place. Anyway, cremation seems like a good option too.

Very interesting book.
Read more . . .

Through the eyes of a child

During the summer months in Minnesota, my children rarely see night. With the sun disappearing, at last, at 9:30 pm, and reemerging well before they awake (thank you black out shades), they rarely experience summer night. Last week was an exception. We were booked on at 8:00 fight in order to travel to Utah for my sister's wedding. Due to recent tightened security measures, we planned to leave the house around 5:30 in order to be there two hours before our departure. T woke up at 5, probably because of our scurrying around with last minute packing. MJ was up soon after, and there was some down time for them before we needed to leave. I was in the kitchen finishing up some tasks when MJ came running in. "Mommy, mommy, you NEED to come outside! You have to come see the stars! They are so beautiful" I assured her that I would, after I finished whatever it was I was doing. She rushed back outside to the porch. In a few minutes, I went outside to find my two children, standing on the porch, holding hands, staring transfixed at the sky, and singing "twinkle twinkle little star" over and over. I was overcome with love for them and for their ability to be amazed and awe-struck at a truly beautiful sight. And I remembered when I too had felt the same way gazing up into the night sky.
Read more . . .

Shannon Hale

I have just read two of Shannon Hale's book-- The Goose Girl and Enna Burning . Both are young adult fantasy novels, with strong female protagonists. Enna Burning is a companion volume to the first.

While I quite liked both of the books, the most intriguing thing to me was the author herself. I know a woman who met Hales before she had published anything and she told me a bit about her. I also have read information about Hales on her website that describes how she wrote almost the entire book of Enna Burning with an infant sitting on her lap. I am fascinated with the idea of a young Mormon mother who has this rich and vibrant career, just taking off (her third book, Princess Academy, is a Newberry Honor book), and the idea that she can have this career while raising young children. Perhaps I should have chosen a different career! I am so jealous of anyone that has a career compatible with raising children. All the time I was reading, I kept thinking of Shannon Hales, the author, and what it might be like to be able to accomplish such a feat.

As to the books. Both of the main female characters, Isi and Enna, have the ability to communicate with nature--Isi with the wind and Enna with fire. When Enna's ability to communicate with fire starts to be personally destructive to her, she feels that she must renounce the gift in order to stay alive. But, at the same time, she is quite afraid of what will happen to her when she lets it go. She fears that she will be an empty shell of her former self--the feelings she has, a gift she has cherished. What would she be without it? (It turns out happily in the end, as she is able to develop the ability to speak with wind so that the powers balance each other out.)

I have been thinking some about this story. I have recently finished graduate school and am experimenting with staying home full time with my kids. I am so tormented about these decisions at times, and have really struggled to know how to balance the different parts of my identity. I feel like the talents and abilities I developed and honed during graduate school, as well as my strong feelings about feminism and career to some extent, are part of who I am and I feel that I am betraying myself? others? by staying home. If I stay home with my kids long enough, will these parts of me disappear? Will I be empty and barren in those places of me? Or will I be able to nuture them in some way other than working? Not sure. I'm not even sure that I am going to continue staying at home full time.

For now, though, I have decided to stop torturing myself over whether or not to find a job. It's all on the back burner now. I am focusing more on trying to figure out how my talents help me be the mother that I can be. Sometimes I think that my talents have no overlap with the skills needed for motherhood, and on those days, I am depressed and short tempered. But I have to believe that no matter who I am, the talents I have can be useful in some way for raising kids...
Read more . . .

These is My Words

I recently completed a book for my inaugural attendance at book group. Unfortunately, no one read it, everyone was out of town, etc etc, so book group did not take place. I was disappointed as I have been looking forward to casing out potential friends, general dispositions and personalities, and getting a handle on what the book group here is like.

Anyway, I read the book and it turned out to be pretty good.

These is My Words

This is a fictionalized diary of a woman who lived in the southwest in the late 1800's. Her life is full of Indian and homestead troubles. Her brother and father are victims of the trek in the very early days of the journal, and all around, her life is very hard. She marries a family friend, but the marriage is loveless, and after her husband dies in a horse accident, she finds her true love (takes her a while to realize this), marries him, and then he dies at the end of her journal too.

Supposedly, this is based on the author's great-grandmother who also settled in the Tucson area. I wonder though--can this many bad things happen to one person? Is this an amalgamation of all the kinds of terrible things that could happen to a woman in the wild west? It seems like it would be an unusual case where one woman's life is filled with so much tragedy.

I also had a hard time suspending my awareness that this was written by a writer, not a novice journal keeper. Who keeps a diary like this, with so many details as to advance a story like this?

In addition, though, to being a pretty good story, I found the insights on gender roles to be interesting. Even though Sarah, the narrator, could ride horses, shoot guns ably, and kill Indians, she was still very much in charge of home and hearth. I suppose that a lot of women were forced by neccessity to learn skills to keep their ranches going, to learn how to protect themselves from rattlesnakes, etc. But, the men portrayed here were seldom involved with caring for children, making meals, or cleaning their homes. Not too surprising, I guess, but Sarah really could do it all, as evidenced by the several years she ran her ranch as a single mother.
Read more . . .

Bellezza

Bellezza is the Italian word for beauty. It is also the root of my birth surname, which was modified back in the late 1800's when my Italian ancestors emmigrated to the United States. When I figured out the significance of my last name, I felt it was an appropriate moniker for a family of 7 daughters (and no sons).

I love my last name and was sad to give up its prominence when I got married. I now use it as my middle name.

Over the last few months, my life circumstances have been changing. We are in transition mode, both of us finishing graduate school (for me, it has been a very long road), moving from city life to the suburbs, test driving a mini-van, and AJ taking the job of his dreams. And me? Well, I've been staying at home to take care of my two kids.

My reactions have been manifold and varied depending on the day. But, the overriding reaction that I've had is a sense of lost identity. I feel that I have nothing interesting to say at the end of the day, and that I spend my time making sure macaroni and cheese doesn't get ground into kitchen floor and that MJ and T don't do bodily harm to each other. I feel empty. And somewhat claustrophobic--the physical clutching, grasping of my children, combined with a new residence and no friends here makes me feel, at times, depressed and desparate.

I'm not sure where I'm headed, nor where I want to head. I keep thinking that perhaps a part time job would be a perfect solution for me and my family, but it doesn't seem to be quite the right thing. Or at least, I don't feel like it's the right thing, even if I think it's the right thing.

Anyway, I see this blog as an outlet for me. I want to write about the books I'm reading, to comment about my life, to develop my opinions. I chose to name it Piazza Bellezza because this is my personal spot--to say what I want and what I feel, and to connect it to me and to who I am. I hope, in the process, to find more of myself and to develop the ability to see more beauty around me.
Read more . . .