Addressing envelopes

One of my major pet peeves is receiving a letter addressed to Mr and Mrs John Doe. My mom recently addressed an envelope this way. My identity is completely subsumed inside my husband's name. UGH! I am not just a subset of my husband! I am my own person. Please distinguish me from him by including MY NAME on the envelope. Jane and John Doe would be just fine.

Last night, as I glanced at a letter than had come to us addressed this way, I slammed my fist onto the counter top. Here was my husband's name, exactly the same name he had been given at birth more than 30 years ago. But there was absolutely no vestige of any piece of my birth name. In this way of addressing, the girl I was has completely disappeared. My marriage has transformed me into someone different, to be identified only by my relationship to my husband. Yet, his identity as going from a single to married man has remained intact. UGH and UGH again!