The Road from Coorain

The Road from Coorain is a fascinating description of the early life of a precocious and lively girl---Jill Ker, the author--who spent the first decade of her life in the rural Austailian bush on a sheep station. She and her family were literally the only ones around for miles: in the morning, when her mother would drop her father off at a corner of their property, she is terrified that she will be unable to find her way home again, and hunches over the steering wheel, trying to see the tire marks in the dry Austrailian dirt. The story of Jill's early life in prominently marked by a drought which eventually kills off all their animals, results in the death of her father (whether by suicide or accident, it is not clear), and finally eventuates in the relocation of Jill and her mother to Sydney. Coorain is left in the hands of a manager, and Jill begins school. The description of the starving and dying sheep is haunting, as are the desparate measures that the family attempts in order to save their livelihood. They are at the mercy of natural forces beyond their control. Then, her father dies in a reservoir, and Jill and her two brothers are not allowed to grieve. Her mother is also suffering from terrible grief and is emotionally withdrawn. When they finally admit to failure and leave Coorain for Sydney, Jill consciously leaves her toys and dolls behind. "I knew that in most important ways my childhood was over."

In Sydney, Jill's mother is determined to keep her children in school and works two jobs in order to pay for their educational costs. After some time, she makes a gamble, buys some more sheep for Coorain; within hours, 2 1/2 inches of rain falls, and from that point on, Coorain is financially successful and the family is able to live off its profits.

Interestingly, although her early life in the bush was important in shaping her life, Jill thrives in school. Attending a top-notch British girls school, she discovers that her mind is powerful and that she has many academic interests. She goes on to study history at the University of Sydney, and eventually enrolls at Harvard as a graduate student. I wonder if she would have had the same career if her family had been able to ride out the drought in the bush and how her life would have been different.

One of the central themes of Jill's early life is her conflicted relationship with her mother. Early on in her life, Jill's mother has iron control of the household and domestic activities in Coorain. It seems that she and Jill's father share their lives together in partnership, working hard to make their ranch successful. When Jill's father dies, her mother begins to tighten her grasp on her children, almost as though she fears losing them too. She tries to control their every move, including their friendships, their careers, and their schooling.

As financial pressures eased, her anxieties were simply redirected...She could manage a sheep station superbly, but managing a social world alone as a hostess was simply beyond her consciousness. This meant that her efforts to control our destinies were mostly negative, and that our youthful quests for peers and lively social relationships took place entirely outside our home. It also meant that she relied more and more on her children for intellectual and emotional companionship, and that there was no constructive outlet for her formidable energies.

When the oldest son Bob dies in a car accident, Jill's mother turns all her energies on Jill and her other brother Barry. Her mental health declines, and she starts exhibiting signs of hypochondria, using her health to manipulate her children. She attempts to destroy Jill's and Barry's romantic attachments, and later in Jill's life, as recounted in True North, she and her mother have a deep schism over Jill's marriage.

This caused me to reflect on my relationship with both my mother and my children. Looking back, my parents made conscious decisions to limit our choices in ways that shaped my life and my sister just younger than me. They were probably terrified of the harm we could inflict on ourselves as adolescents and wanted to do anything they could to prevent anything from happening to us. They eased up on their rules as my younger sisters grew up, but for me, I think, this behavior made me feel like I had to hide anything that I thought they would disapprove of (probably a lot of different things). I think it may have also contributed to a contrarian feeling that I have. I want to be different and act differently than I think they want me to. (I'm not sure that this is directly attributable to that time period. And it's surely not onloy because of that.)

I also sense in myself the tendency to want to control my children more than probably necessary. I want things to be done my way. I need to learn to give up ground that isn't important for their sake. I can only imagine how such tactics could truly backfire as they get older.

Additionally, in the book, we see the seeds of Jill's feminism planted as she struggles to find a place as an intellectual woman in a society that disdained big ideas "and found them specially laughable in women." Upon graduating with top honors from the University of Sydney, she is turned down for a government job quite clearly because she is a woman. "It chilled me to realize that there was no way to earn my freedom through merit." This is the first time that she has recognized her position in life as a woman and began to identify with women, rather than "acting unreflectingly as though I were a man."

She is detemined to leave the destructive relationship with her mother, and applies to go to graduate school at Harvard. She is admitted, and leaves Austrailia, never to return for good.